Transition....New Chapters....Denial

It has been a while since I have written here.  Not because I don't have anything to say...far from it.  In my dashboard are multiple drafts of our life events that never get published...I don't even have a good reason why.

But here we are...August 2016.  Michael returned home from his mission just a couple months ago.  Neil graduated a few weeks before that.

Now in a few days they will start heading off to college.  These two boys.  I am not ready.  Let me write that again, I am not ready.

I am excited for them but my mama heart breaks as I think about them being away from me.  Sleeping under a different roof.  Why did time have to go so fast?  Kevin and I have raised them the best way we knew how.  They are great young men.  They have, this far in life, made good decisions.  I know this is how life goes but I just am not ready.

It won't matter if I'm ready, they are embarking on this new journey.  I thought it would be easier having them head off to college considering I have already sent one boy off for two years.  But having Michael come home and fall back perfectly into the fold of our family has gotten me too comfortable.

Why is this so hard?  Why is it making me cry and have that deep ache in my chest to see my boys start the next phase of their lives?

As I laid sobbing in bed, enfolded in Kevin's arms last week, he reminded me that Heavenly Father knows how I feel.  After all, He has sent His children away to learn and to grow.   That thought does bring me comfort and also strengthens me.

Remember friends, time goes by so fast.  One minute they are tiny babies and the next they are grown men.  Cherish the moments.

High School Graduation!

Our first born has officially graduated from high school.  I really thought I would be a huge emotional mess but I actually held it together pretty well.  I was feeling somewhat sentimental but I didn't have the big boohoo meltdown I was expecting.  I am so proud of Michael and all that he has accomplished in his high school career.  I really enjoyed watching him walk on the football field with his best friends.  

There were 408 graduates from Waynesville High School this year.  70 of them have gone through their entire school years here in this district.  Obviously Michael is not one of them.  I believe that his moves during his youth will help him to adapt with the constant moving he will be doing while on his mission.  

Michael, your dad and I are so proud of you and the example you set for your brothers.  You have so much to offer the world, please remember that you are amazing and capable of so much.  Don't ever sell yourself short and reach for the starts, we love you!

Seminary Graduation

 For the past four years Michael has gotten up early to go to the church building for a 45 minute scripture class.  This requires much dedication.  If you consider late nights with the other activities he was involved in than you know it was true sacrifice.  When the tornado hit our neighborhood on NYE 2010, he missed a week of seminary and still continued to do the work at home.  He never made an excuse about not getting the work done.  It has been amazing to see seminary prepare him for his mission.  He is such an example to his brothers and the other youth around him. 

We are so grateful for the teachers who are called to serve in this special calling because it means getting up even earlier than their students and a minimum of an hour prep every day to be ready for the next day.  I can't even imagine! 

There were a total of eight graduates in our stake and only four were able to make it to graduation but even though our numbers were small, their testimonies were huge.  Each of the kids bore amazing testimonies and then Michael followed his with a piano solo.  I venture to say there was not a dry eye in the chapel because the Spirit was so strong.  I felt so blessed to hear his testimony both by word and through music.  I recorded the song he played, he said he was super nervous but I thought he did great.  My phone cut the very end off.

My last picture I want to share is of Michael with two amazing church leaders.  They have been a tremendous help to Michael as he struggled with a few things through his teenage years but they helped him to stay on track and keep himself worthy to go and serve the Lord for two years.  I am grateful for their friendship and their love for Michael, they are truly both men of God.

It's Hard to Let Go

I cried this morning.  And I cried yesterday morning too.  I probably cry every day.  Not horrible, sad, depressing tears (though my first three sentences probably make me sound quite pathetic).  In less than two weeks Michael graduates from high school and in just over a month he heads off on his mission. 

I really am happy and excited for him as he heads into this next chapter in his life but I am also somewhat sad to see this chapter in our lives close.  I know that as he leaves, the dynamics of our lives changes forever.  I am proud of who he is and the path he has chosen for his life but I am sad that I won't get to talk to him everyday and I won't get to see him everyday.

I will miss him and his brothers laughing and fighting.  Some days I think I'm ready and then later as I catch myself gazing at him and smiling at memories and then the tears come.

This whole cycle of life kind of sucks sometimes.  I'm not ready to let go...but I will.

Three Boys, Three Winter Journeys

This past weekend we closed out our folkstyle wrestling season and winter indoor drumline. It's been an amazing winter in regards to the boys activities. 

I am so proud of my boys. Watching Michael perform in the drumline and interact with his friends was such a blessing. Even when he was frustrated about practices or performances he still had fun. I loved that he was in the front so I could always see him.

Michael, you are amazing! Your musically talent is something I hope you stay humble about. Thank you for your patience as we were not always there for your performances, thank you for understanding.

Daniel, you made a goal and while you think you fell short, you had a wonderful wrestling season. It was such a joy to watch you go out and be a pinning machine (25 pins for the season). I loved watching you support your friends on our team and those from other teams. I loved watching you laugh one second and then turn into all business the next.

Neil, your wrestling season wasn't as long as you wanted it to be but watching you coach our kids in the club was such a beautiful thing to experience. Your interaction with the kids making them push themselves yet encouraging the isn't something everyone can do. Your tenderness when they just needed to work through emotions was a humbling sight to see. You have grown into a wonderful mentor.

I loved when our music world mixed with our wrestling world. The Thursday before state the indoor drumline performed at the middle school for the 8th graders. I loved having our wrestlers tell me how much they enjoyed watching Michael perform, they were impressed he could play with four mallets.

We are blessed with three amazing boys who are individuals and have unique talents. While they are the Albrecht boys, they certainly are their own people and we love them each with all of our hearts.

Called to Serve!

We are so excited to announce that Michael has been called to serve in the Alpine German Speaking Mission for our church!  He has been waiting anxiously to turn in his papers and turned them in two weeks ago.  Lots of our friends and family tried to guess where he would be called to serve and about 7 people guessed Germany!

Watching him open his mission call was so sweet.  He said he was so excited at first but when he started reading it he suddenly became overwhelmed with emotion as you can clearly see.  I got all excited too which is why the video ended up coming in two parts.

I know he is going to be a great missionary because he loves the Gospel and he wants to share our Savior's love with others.  I know that I will miss him but am proud of his decision to sacrifice two years to do the Lord' work.  

Accepted!

Michael was pretty bold only applying to the one college he wants to go to.  The University of Missouri (MIZZOU).  I was a bit worried that he would not get accepted and his hopes would be crushed.  I tried to encourage him to apply to a few more colleges but he has a plan and that plan includes a music degree and the desire to march with their Marching Mizzou Band.

Well, Michael got accepted and was given the two year deferment since he is going on his mission upon graduation from high school.  We are so proud of him.  It's hard going through these milestones, I'd be happy to go back to the first steps and first day of school versus applying for colleges and sending my 18 year old baby off into the world alone.

Congratulations Michael! 

High School Marching Band - Another Chapter Ends

 One of the highlights of Michael's high school journey has been his participation in the marching band.  He loves music.  His desire is to be a high school band director.  At the end of his junior year he tried out to be drum major and also to be on the impact team, which was a group of kids from each section that would help lead the band.  When he didn't make either one he was upset and frankly so was I.  In the end, it was a blessing, Michael excelled in his own right and was still a leader in many areas and mentored many people and continues to do.  Him and some other high schools have started a music mentor program with the middle school.

We went to every band competition and was so proud of our kids.  I guess I just don't understand the scoring system like I used to because we were constantly shocked at where our kids placed, especially at the last competition where we didn't even make the finals.  You know you are somewhat validated when people from other schools tell you that you were robbed.  The reality is that our band in some competitions rested on our laurels to slide through to the finals and when we didn't, it was a serious shock.  There were times when you could see on the kid's countenance that they knew they did an awesome job and later many tears were shed.  These moments are emotional.

I loved watching Michael, there is something to be said about having your child in the front ensemble where you can see him plain and clear.  I can tell by the way he moves his body and his facial expressions how he feels he is doing.  It's truly a joy to watch him become one with the music.  I know Michael is going to continue to do great things with his music.  It has been pure happiness watching him the last four years.

Michael during senior night waving to his fans.  Seriously, he had the loudest cheering section.  GO MICHAEL!!!

Tiger Pride Marching Band at CMU

We had our first band competition of the season and I cannot even begin to talk about how proud I am of our kids! I'm also sad that this is Michael's last year...I am still completely in denial that he is a senior.

I know that our band was frustrated yesterday after their 3rd place finish in field. As I sat in the stands shocked at the results along with many others not even from Waynesville, I immediately felt such disappointment for our kids. As I have had a chance to ponder yesterday, I feel immense pride for these amazing youth. I think about all they have endured as they prepared for their first competition of the season.

Many of them have parents or family who have deployed or returned home from a deployment. They carry the constant worry of a loved one in harm's way or are dealing with the aftermath of constant separation. Many have moved into our school district or are preparing to move to another school due to a Military move. They dealt with a massive flood in our community that canceled a week of band camp and has resulted in a lot of shifting as they have had to move around practices, not to mention that many of these students were directly affected by the flood itself.

They endured intense heat during practice and a new turf field which hasn't completely settled yet. Add into that the government shutdown and the fact that many have that stress in their lives as they have parents/siblings/extended family members who were furloughed or who don't know when they may get paid and who do not know how this will affect their livelihood.

I am proud of the Waynesville High School Tiger Pride Band and how they give all they have no matter what is thrown at them!

Senior Pics - Michael, Class of 2014

I was very happy with how Michael's senior pics turned out.  I didn't go in with a lot of expectation and was pleasantly surprised.  I know there are many people who think that senior pics for boys aren't a big deal like they are for girls but I beg to differ.  Mothers of boys want the same memories.  I want to look at pictures and see my child, his personality and the things that matter to him.  I am so grateful that the photographer was able to capture that for me.  We got over 20 images and these are just a few of my absolute favorite!

Conquer the Solo!

Michael doing one last run through of his music before going into the room before the judge.

This boy...oh how I love him.  While I cherish each of my boys, I love that each of our relationships is so unique and special.  Michael and I share this beautiful bond over music.  I feel so blessed that he has this natural raw talent.

Today I drove to a town about 30 minutes away to watch him perform at a Solo contest.  He was so nervous.  Last year he went and completely froze.  He was so distraught.  It's interesting because Michael has performed in front of lots of people and handled it well but when he got to this contest last year, it overwhelmed him.  He has made it his goal to go back this year and perform.  While he wanted a good rating overall, he really just wanted to complete his piece.

He practiced a lot, it is a rather difficult piece and I knew even when he practiced he was nervous.  I asked him if my coming to watch him would make him more nervous or help calm him.  He said he didn't know.  I decided I would go and if he changed his mind about me being in the room with him, I would leave.  He had already decided that he wanted one of his best friends to sit in his line of sight as she was a calming factor for him.

When I got to the high school he was performing at I found him in a corner practicing.  I loved watching his band peers approach him and tell him he was going to do great.  I love watching our youth being supportive of one another, it contradicts what so many people say about our teens today in regards to being so self absorbed.

As the time got closer, we started to make our way to the classroom where he would be playing in front of a judge.  We walked out of the gym and suddenly there was this cluster of kids running towards him.  They wanted to make sure they hadn't missed his turn.  My heart was so happy for him and the amount of support he was receiving.  I hung back and watched the interaction.

The minutes ticked by and I'm not sure who was more nervous...Michael or me.  The student that was scheduled before Michael went into the classroom and so did most of Michael's friends.  He hung back to get himself focused.  As we stood there I told him to just take a deep breath, visual his piece and imagine himself finishing it.  He closed his eyes for a few seconds and then took a deep breath and said he felt a little better.  I asked him if he wanted me to pray with him and he said yes.  We stepped away from the small cluster of people who were waiting to go in to another room and said a quick prayer.  After we said Amen, Michael leaned forward to me and gave me a hug.  It was truly a tender moment.  I feel so blessed that my boys are not ashamed to show me affection in a public setting and even more blessed that they are not ashamed to pray in public either.

A few minutes later, the door to the classroom opened and the previous student filed out along with those who watched her and while they walked out, a few more students walked right in.  I was amazed that when I walked into the room, there was only one seat left in the back corner.  It filled my heart yet again with joy to see the amazing support his band peers were giving him.  I took the seat in the back even though some of the students offered me a seat closer to the front.  I didn't want to make Michael more nervous than he already was.  Besides, if I wanted a closer seat to the front I wouldn't have a problem telling one of those kids to move!

Both the band directors and the piano accompanist were in the room with Michael.  I saw them as they all gave Michael some quick words of encouragement.  Michael made his introduction, sat down and that's when I stopped breathing.  I realized that I sucked my bottom lip and held my breath for most of his piece.  He did a wonderful job.  He had a few minor mistakes but overall I am so proud of him for conquering one of his fears and having the courage to do this in the first place.

The bassoon isn't the easiest of instruments to play and he only played one movement of the piece he chose for his solo and that was over 6 minutes alone!  When he finished, everyone in the room clapped loudly and I loved all of the wonderful feedback they gave him.  Little comments like, "I could never play a double reed!" to "You are the first bassoon player I've ever heard."   I am so proud of him.

I gave Michael the option to come home with me and he chose to stay and support his friends.  I love that about him, giving back the support he received.  At this point, I don't know what the judges scored him but I already know he scored high in my book just for going!

UPDATE:  Michael was rated with a 2 out of 5 (5 being the lowest, 1 being the best).  So proud of Michael!

If you would like to hear his solo CLICK HERE.

Wordless Wednesday - 8 Lessons, Hours of Practice

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Why is the Football Team on Our Field?

Michael's Marching Band season seemed extremely short this year.  They played at every home game but only had three marching band competitions.  He played in the PIT again this year and enjoyed it.  He really wants to play the mallets next year so he is already practicing.  This year he played the different auxiliary instruments like the triangle, gong and other things I don't know the names of.  He just moves a lot during each performance. 

I love all the marching band kids, they have so much fun together and a pretty tight-knit group.  They own their band nerd status and I love that about them.

For parades and stuff, Michael plays the flute (that he taught himself how to play) so he can march with the rest of the band, I admire that about him.  He really wants to pursue music in college and is doing everything he can to be as prepared as possible.

The band did okay this season at competitions.  They placed first at one, second at the other and at the largest one they didn't place at all.  According to Michael, some of our kids still have some growing up to do and may have cost them points in some areas.  Overall he is happy with his marching band season and is now doing concert band and back on the bassoon.  

TDT #6- A Bassoon AND a Rifle?

One of the ways I have always done my countdowns when my  husband is away is by counting trash days.  Most of the time it isn't as daunting a number as the estimated number of days he'll be gone.  And it helps me remember to put the trash out, or rather encourage my boys to put the trash out since it's their job.  So this will be my new weekly post, and I'll just really post whatever, no real set theme.  Please feel free to join me on this adventure of counting down the time until your loved one comes home!

Last week, Michael and I attended an event at the high school where a bunch of colleges sent representatives to talk to students.  It was a bit overwhelming for me to really see that my first born will be leaving the nest and spreading his wings in the near future.   I was so proud of him though, watching him go from table to table and ask questions about the programs he was interested in.

What really made me proud was Michael going to all the different Military recruiters and talking to them about their band programs.  He really wants to play in one of the Military bands.  All of the recruiters were quite impressed with him, with the exception of one and unfortunately it was the one that Michael was most interested in, too bad that recruiter was a huge jerk.  Thankfully the others got him excited and are working on getting Michael auditions set up for the February time frame. Michael recognizes that it is very difficult and competitive to get a slot in the band and has made the decision to start dedicating himself to prepare should he be fortunate enough to get an audition.

All of our boys have expressed the desire to serve in the Military at some point in their lives.  None have said they want to make it a career, they simply want to serve their country like their parents. That makes me so proud.  That being said, it's a scary concept as a mother.  I've sent my husband off to war and that has been difficult know what he experienced.  I still want to protect my child from nightmares, not send him into one.  I know that's being dramatic, but it's how I feel.  At the same time I am proud of Michael for wanting to do what less than 1% of America is willing to do.  And while joining the Military to serve in the band sounds wimpy (trust me, we've heard it all), what a lot of people don't know is that the band deploys a lot and when they deploy they end up pulling a lot of security.  No matter what branch, they are still Soldiers, Marines, Airman, Sailors first!

As we were walking out of the high school and Michael chatted with some of his friends about the tables they visited (btw, still flattered by the girls who told Michael I didn't look old enough to be his mom!), it was fun to hear why everyone was choosing which schools.  And people were very impressed with Michael's desire to serve in the Military and combine it with his passion of music.

We left the high school on a high note.  We came home, talked about our experience, waited for the other kids to get home and then I remembered I had been asked to help with a send off for a unit that was deploying to Afghanistan.  I quickly changed and headed out to our USO.

I knew I would be emotional, goodbyes always do that to me.  What I did not anticipate was being overwhelmed with emotions as it hit me that it could be my son in the next couple years loading those buses.  There was a set of parents there with their young Soldier and the anguish on their face just broke my heart.

When Michael was in JROTC his freshman year, my  heart almost stopped the first time I saw him in his uniform.  I was not prepared to see him look like a Soldier.  I thought after he decided not to continue with JROTC that his desire to serve would go away.  It hasn't.  He is so serious about this, my child who dislikes sports has talked to his Fitness and Conditioning teacher (who happens to be the high school wrestling coach) and asked for his help in getting ready for basic training.  If all works out, Michael would like to go to basic training between his junior and senior year.  That's 8 months away, folks! 

As the bus pulled away, and I could hear the families crying it made my heart ache.  It took me back to when we bid our own farewells to Kevin but then it took me forward into a place that I'm not yet familiar. Will that be my son in a couple years and will I be strong enough to stand there and smile through the tears?

 

Have your children expressed the desire to serve their country and how do you feel about it?

Clear the Roads!

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Just kidding...

Our firstborn child got his driver's license a couple weeks ago.  Can you believe I typed that so calmly?  I was so stressed about him getting his actual drivers license and being able to drive all by himself.  Alone.  Without his mama.  I won't tell you the crazy, irrational thoughts I had, just know that they were pretty ridiculous.  I couldn't even take him to do his drivers test, I had Kevin do it.  It didn't help my nerves any when they came home from the test and told me that he passed his driving test but needed an eye exam.  I was confused, Michael wears contacts/glasses.  It hasn't been that long since his last eye exam.  After pondering that for a bit I decided to ask him if he was even wearing his contacts.  His reply...no.  Are you kidding me?  I went into irrational mom mode and said if he couldn't even wear his contacts on the day of his test, how could I believe he was responsible to drive alone?  Overreacting much, yes.  Kids are kids and he's a great kid.  Sometimes lacks a bit of common sense but who doesn't at times?  We simply took him back another day and he was fine.

I had told Kevin that before he left, Michael had to get his drivers license.  There was no way I was going to be able to handle his first drive away from our house alone on my own.    I seriously thought I would have a heart attack or something.  Come to find out, it wasn't that bad at all.  In fact, it was quite convenient.  I sent him to the PX to grab me some hangars.  I realized right then and there that it was going to be quite handy having this child, whom I'm the boss of and control 100%, around with a license.

He has been driving himself to band camp all this past week and next week.  I didn't have to take him to his Scout meeting.  I sent him to our local steak house for salads the other day.  He took his brother to wrestling practice.  Yes, I think I will enjoy having a child with a driver's license.  What the heck was I worried about?

Hey Michael, I need a Pepsi, can you run to the shoppette?

Michael's an Eagle Scout!

 

I cannot begin to express how proud I am of Michael for earning and receiving his Eagle Scout.  After a lot of rushing around and trying to make sure all his paperwork was straight, we got all the signatures we needed and were able to do his ceremony before Kevin flew out to Korea.  (Moving so much makes things a little crazy as far as paperwork is concerned, my little PSA...keep copies of EVERYTHING!)

After a couple stressful days and the help of a lot of really awesome people in our lives, we were able to put together a simple, yet wonderful ceremony for Michael.  There were a lot of tears, that's for sure.  With Kevin leaving so soon emotions are running real high.

Scouting is a big part of our lives, we know that all the things the boys learn and the experiences they have will help them in their future.  I truly believe that Michael is who he is because of the standards and values that he has learned through Boy Scouts.

 The awesome cake a friend of mine made in VERY short notice.  She's amazing!

 Scout Oath

 This Eagle Award is very special.  Kevin's brother Mike passed away when Kevin was 13 years old (Mike was 21).  When I was pregnant with Michael we didn't know until just a few days before he was born what we were going to name him.  Kevin asked me if we could name him Michael after his brother, I thought it was perfect.  I found out a few hours later that I was going to be induced and when we called to let his mom know, she told us that March 25th was Mike's birthday too.  (Kevin knew that, he had just forgotten!).  We thought that it was meant to be then that Michael was to be named after Kevin's brother.  Kevin thought it would be special to give Michael this Eagle Scout Award.  It made for a very emotional moment.

 

 

 

 Michael is telling Kevin that he wants to present him with his mentor pin.  In Michael's words..."Even though you weren't there for the first part of my Scouting life, you have been there for the second  part.  I want to give you my mentor pin because of all the support you have given me and the other boys." 
Mom's note:  Due to Army life such as Drill Sergeant duty and deployments Kevin wasn't able to participate, not because he didn't want to.

 Yes I'm crying...he's my baby!

   

 This pictures make me laugh...Michael is so skinny!  Eat more cake Michael!

 Michael's Eagle Award.  Another interesting side note...that is Kevin's Life Rank from when he was a Boy Scout!

 Good job Michael, what a wonderful example you are to all of us!