I have felt pretty vulnerable the past 24 hours...sometimes it's hard to remember that you're stronger than you think. I was reading through emails from our last deployment and stumbled across this. It helped to rejuvenate me a bit, hopefully I can remember the lessons learned last time.
October 16, 2006
As our deployment is coming to an end in about 5 weeks or so, I've been reflecting on this past year. I look back at it with tears, love and gratitude. It has been a year of trial. But not hardship. I really learned at how much attitude has to do with how hard your trials truly are. We know we are sent down to Earth to be tested. We know there are going to tough times. But with the right attitude and the reliance on the Lord, they don't have to be so hard.
There have been some overwhelming times. I thought my heart would break when I learned our good friends were killed. I still cry almost daily for the loss of these special men. But how grateful am I to know where they are headed after this. So many people were blessed in knowing these soldiers, I know I have been blessed. I think about all the families I have had the opportunity to interact with. Oh what a blessing they have been. On the not so great days, I was uplifted with a simple word of encouragement from a mother or a father. I look forward to meeting them all in person.
I look at my husband and I am so grateful for the 7,348 miles that have brought us closer and stronger in our marriage. I've been asked how I do it, do you miss him, do you miss the intimacy. I am truly grateful for the opportunity that was given us as a couple to learn intimacy on a whole new level. A spiritual intimacy.
I look at my boys and I am so proud of them and how well they have endured this past year. It has been hard on them, but they are so strong. They teach me so much. They pray for their daddy and the other soldiers everyday. They talk with such pride about how their daddy is helping the world. They miss him and as sad as it can be at times, they have a wonderful understanding and testimony of eternal families. They know that even if Heavenly Father decided to take their daddy like He took daddy's friends, that we are an eternal family and it's not a forever goodbye. I know some people don't understand that, but what good is having ordinances if we don't have faith in them? At 10, 8 and 5, my children have that testimony and I find comfort in that.
I look at my lot as an Army Wife as a blessing. We all know that Heavenly Father has a plan for each and every one of us. How grateful am I that His plan for me included marrying a soldier. It's not always an easy life and at times comes with much sacrifice. We are all handed our trials for different reasons and for different life experience. I am thankful that the Lord chose me for this journey. I am proud to be an Army wife. I am proud that my husband serves on a larger scale then that of politics. He is an instrument in serving his Lord in spreading truth. He is a pioneer in Iraq. How often do people get to say their loved one makes a difference in the world each and every day and not just for himself.
I am grateful for all of you. I couldn't have made it this year without all the people the Lord placed in my life. Whether it be in person or online. He knew who I needed to get me through.
My journey is not quite finished, we have a few weeks left and I know there is still much unknown. I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but I know today the Lord blessed with many things and for that I am grateful. I wanted to share this all with you and say that I truly do love all of you.