Flashback Friday - Perspective

*I actually wrote this in August 2009 as we were preparing to move...I wrote it for a blog I was contributing to at the time, I thought I'd share it here since I seem to be talking to a lot of people lately about perspective*

I love being an Army wife. It makes me happy and gives me so much joy. On occasion it brings me much sadness. It all evens out.

This morning I sat on my front porch watching the sun rise over Fort Hood, TX. I sat back and listened to the bugle call signifying the start of the duty day. I smiled as I reflected about our time here at "The Great Place".

We have lived here for almost 5 years. It's been quite a journey here. We have experienced great joy and great sadness. It is said in the Bible that one can't truly appreciate one without the other and I think that is true.

In about 5 or so weeks, we will be bidding farewell and moving on to our next duty station, Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri. We are very excited about the new adventure the Army will send us on. We look forward to the new experiences awaiting us.

I truly believe Army life and how you live it depends on your perspective. We've learned many lessons here. We've had many laughs and many tears but we will leave here stronger then ever, as individuals and as a family.

In the 5 years we have lived here, our Soldier has went to Iraq twice. Both times we faced trials and tribulation. We faced some of the heaviest burdens our hearts have carried to date. We have heard TAPS played in remembrance of our Fallen Friends and shed silent tears as we heard their names repeated over and over during Final Roll Call. We have heard the deafening cheers of families awaiting the unloading of the buses that carried their Soldiers home after a very long 12-15 months apart. We have somewhere in the midst of all that dealt with our own fears and joys and mixed emotions.

We have picked up many friends along this journey, more to add to our extended family, one of the greatest perks of being a military family. Relationships that carry through time and miles.

Yes, as the sun is now almost fully risen, I can see that life here at Fort Hood has been good to us.

“Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.”

Flashback Friday - No Coffee!

Last night I was having a twitter conversation about coffee that reminded me of an incident I had in Korea with the LTC (Lieutenant Colonel) I worked for.

I should start by mentioning that growing up I was always forced to make coffee for my mom. I used to complain about it. I swore that when I left home, I was never going to make coffee ever again! So what did I do? I joined the Army. And what does everyone drink in the Army? Coffee. I have never in my life drank coffee. I didn't start in the Army and I swore I'd keep my conviction about never making it again.

I was Admin in the Army. A lot of people think that the first line in the duty description for that is "make coffee". I admit I fought hard the entire time I was in the military about the coffee issue. (It's about the principle of it, ya know!)

Anyway, it's pretty funny to look back but I stood my ground. When I was at Campbell and we were in the field, I had TOC duty. The other girl on duty spent all night chugging down the java. Come morning, there was no coffee left and we had a major brief happening first thing with a 2 star general. Immediately everyone was in panic mode. She told me to make coffee to which I replied that no, I wouldn't since she had drank it all. (Rebellious..perhaps a bit.) Anyway, it got pretty crazy there, people running around. It made me laugh to see everyone stressing about coffee for the general, I kept telling them he probably didn't even drink coffee. When my shift was over and I was headed out of the tent, one of the NCOs told me that I needed to run to the mess tent to get some sugar and creamer because they were out. I just looked at him and said, no I had to report somewhere else (which I did). Later on I found out that the general never even asked for coffee and so all that energy was wasted.

But anyway, I digress, that wasn't even the story I intended to tell but it does fit in. I spent all of my time fighting the coffee making battle. When I got stationed in Korea, I had to interview for my position. The LTC I was going to work for wanted me to understand what his expectations were for me. I listened and as he finished he asked me if I had any questions or comments. I simply told him that I wanted him to know that I didn't make coffee...ever. He chuckled and said okay, he could deal with that. Because of my position, I was put in charge of the refrigerator and the coffee funds. No big deal. I told all the coffee drinkers that since I didn't drink coffee they needed to make sure and tell me when they were running low. I never ventured near the pot and I also never intended to clean it (dirty coffee pots gross me out). Most everyone understood this. I had moments when we'd get a new guy in the office who would try to get me to make coffee. I even had an E8 go running to my Sergeant Major (E9) to tell on me for not making him and his buddies coffee. My SGM responded with, she doesn't make me or the LTC coffee what makes you think I'm going to force her to make it for you. Yeah, good times.

Now the last story and the one I intended to tell in the first place. As we all know, changes happen in the Army and my favorite LTC PCS'd back to the states and in came a new guy. He was a good guy, we got along great and had no issues. After a few months, we had an exercise coming up which had him, me and one of our KATUSAs (Korean Augumtees to the US Army) coming in to work early. The first day, he walked over to the coffee station and said loudly, "oh, there's no coffee made.". I just carried on with what I was doing. Eventually someone came in during normal duty hours and made coffee. The second day, same thing. On the third day, he called me and Sergeant Hwang over to the coffee station. He told us that he couldn't believe that coffee wasn't made when we came in. Both SGT Hwang and I shrugged because neither of us were coffee drinkers. LTC P then proceeded to show us how to make coffee. explaining measurements and everything. We both nodded and smiled and went about our day. On the fourth day, again there was no coffee. LTC P stopped by my desk and asked me about what I learned the previous day. My reply was, "Sir, I learned that you could make your own coffee."

No one ever asked me to make coffee again.

Flashback Friday ~ Great Pics

One of my friends reminded me of this entry...had a good chuckle so I thought I'd share..

Read it HERE

Flashback Friday

This is a conversation we had in the fall of 2005 as we prepared for Kevin to deploy to Iraq.
This is what our dinner conversations seem to sound like lately...

Daniel (4) - Dad when do you go to Iraq...

Neil (7) - do they have chicken wings in Iraq?

Michael (9) - no dummy they eat MRE's in Iraq

Kevin - Michael don't call your brother dummy, Neil, they might, Daniel, not til after Halloween.

Daniel - do they have Halloween in Iraq.

Kevin - baby, some kids don't have food in Iraq, they don't even get to dress up. But maybe someday.

Daniel - we can send them Halloween candy, huh dad

Kevin, we can do that.

Neil - people die in Iraq, huh dad

Kevin - yes, people have died in Iraq

Neil - soldiers die

Kevin - yes, soldiers die

Neil - are you gonna die in Iraq, dad?

Kevin - I'm going to try my hardest to come home to you guys.

Michael - we can pray for daddy and all the soldier's to come home safe...daddy and Christi and Sean's dad Mike

Daniel - ChristiANA's dad, Mike, we pray for him, huh mom

Mom (me) only nods...can't speak

Kevin - well mommy made a good dinner, huh guys

subject changes to chicken wings...lol.

Flashback Friday

I was going through some posts I had made in an online community I belong to and came across this one. Since it referenced my 2 year old, it had to have been written sometime in 2003.

I often get asked how I do it. Do what I ask? How do I make it being an Army wife. Don’t you miss your husband? Miss my husband?, I ask. Oh yeah, I could never make it not seeing my husband for days, months, a year. Oh, I guess I’m used to it I say. Used to it? Yeah, that’s life as an Army wife.
I am an Army wife. The pride that fills my body when I say that. It doesn’t mean that it's easy. I have my moments. I have days that just feel odd. Days where all I want to do is cry. I look at my kids and wonder what they are thinking. Do they despise this life that we have? Do they resent the fact that we move every couple years? That they have to start over each time, make new friends. Do they resent that their Daddy can’t take them to Cub Scouts or come to their 20 minute school program. It breaks my heart to hear them ask, "Will Daddy be here this time?" And again I have to say no. Do they resent us?
I stand outside their room and listen to them play. Boys being boys. I overhear one say…"I’ll be daddy this time, you be the Soldier". And then I hear him say…"Private, get down and push!" I giggle softly as my heart takes yet another picture and stores it for safekeeping. My two year old wanders up to me with a plastic Army guy. "This is daddy he says". I ask him.."Daddy?" He holds the toy to me and says "Daddy" and gives him a kiss. Off he runs into his brother’s room, yelling "Platoon!"
My kids are so young, so innocent. This life has been so hard. So many times we’ve abandoned them, left them with family while we play Soldier. Do they resent us? I overheard my 7 year old talking to his friend. "I was born at Fort Campbell, where were you born?" The little boy says "I was born here". My son asks "where else have you lived", the little boy says, "here. This is my home". My son is astonished, "you’ve never lived anywhere else?" "No", says the boy. My son says, "I’ve lived in KY, Idaho, Korea, Idaho, Kansas and now again in Kentucky again. I wish we could move again, we already lived here two years it’s time for us to move." I don’t think he resents us, he looks at our life as an adventure.
But there are moments when our life has been really hard. September 11^th. What a horrible day. My 5 year old son asking me why anyone would hurt America. I don’t know baby, is all I can say. And then he asked me if the bad guys would hurt me and his daddy. I asked him why, he says in a 5 year old’s logic, if they hate America, they hate you, you and daddy are America’s police. How can I argue with that? I’m angry, they stole my child’s innocence. But maybe we handed it to them, with our lifestyle.
It’s not easy being an Army family. Our life is can be difficult. I asked my boys today if they thought our life was hard…both looked at me with question. My 7 year old said, hard? My 5 year old said, no. I said, we’re an Army family and we move all the time and you don’t see your daddy sometimes. Sometimes he leaves us for a long time, and you’ve had to live with your Grandma when mommy and daddy went away.
Both look at me with puzzled looks. My seven year old says, Mommy, doesn’t everyone’s family live like that?
It hit me, this is his life, our life. As military families we are special in that we surround ourselves with people who share this same lifestyle. My children are surrounded by those who live like we do. Modern day nomads. There is no resentment, this is their life, they understand. It’s not a big deal to them, so maybe it shouldn’t be a big deal to me.
I don’t need to focus on how hard it is or how I do it. My kids don’t classify themselves as an Army family. We are a family who happens to be in the Army. And I’m a wife who happens to be married to a Soldier. It’s part of who we are but it’s not all that we are.
I’m an Army wife and proud of it. But I’m just a wife and a mom who loves her husband and kids. I do it because I have to. I have to deal with deployments and long hours like someone else has to deal with taking out the trash and washing dishes. We all have our own wars…

Since the time I wrote that Kevin has been to Iraq twice and we've moved twice...we still love our life.