I'm Grateful for Perspective

November brings messages of Thanksgiving and plenty of food.  Yesterday when I woke up and pondered on what the day would bring, I was surprised that I wasn't feeling depressed that Michael wasn't here to celebrate the holiday.  I reflected on that for a moment and wondered how I could have such peace when in the past during separation from anyone in our family, I have felt extreme sadness.  What I realized quickly was that my heart had a deep understanding that Michael is exactly where he should be doing what the Lord wants him to be doing.  The slap in the face for me came when I realized that I should have felt that way during all of Kevin's deployments as well.  I say I know that the Lord has a plan for us but my fear and worry in those cases contradicts that.  I should have prayed for peace and understanding that Kevin was also on the Lord's errand, it just looked different than Michael's.

So many other missionary moms talk about their sadness and pain and I started to wonder if I was the weird one because I wasn't overcome with those emotions.  I fully expected to be as Michael prepared to go on his mission.  I mean, let's be serious, I am the mom that stresses when the kids drive themselves to school.  I almost had a heart attack a couple days ago when Neil drove to work out and it started snowing while he was gone.  What's interesting is that I don't have that anxiety when it comes to Michael being in a completely foreign county. 

Michael is on the Lord's errand and He is the one in control.  I can't be sad that Michael has been obedient and willing to do as his Heavenly Father has asked.  I need to be obedient and not live my life with fear and worry.  I need to exercise my faith that all will be well. Who better to watch over Him than his Father in Heaven?

Thanksgiving 2012

I cried a lot on Thanksgiving, but not because Kevin wasn't home, although I'm sure many of the people who saw me cry would think that was the reason.  No...I cried because this beautiful girl would never have another Thanksgiving with her family.  I cried because I thought about her parents and brothers all day long and my heart just broke.  Jenavieve Phillips was an amazing girl and her life was cut way too short.  Today her family will be saying their final goodbyes to her here on earth and I can scarcely breathe thinking about it.

While thinking about her I thought about one of the families that was having Thanksgiving with us who lost their father a couple years ago to cancer.  It made me cry thinking about them not having another holiday with him.  And of course I thought about my friend LaNita for whom Thanksgiving is a difficult time since losing Bryant.  Thanksgiving was their first date ever.  So I cried...but not for me, for the many who are without their loved ones here on earth.

And while I did miss Kevin, it was okay because we spent a lot of time chatting on skype and the phone and he got to talk to so many people while at our get together.  I'm grateful that it is only distance that keeps us apart.  And I took a picture of him with us to the feast so he could be there with us in spirit!

And a feast it was!  We had so much food!  But we needed a lot of food since we had over 60 people there!

I love his face as he is checking out the goods!

 I admit I was a bit apprehensive about so many people being there but it turned out great.  We had a lot of fun and ate some great food.  And the best part was that there wasn't that much clean-up.  I love my friend who organized all of this...I don't give her nearly enough credit sometimes but she is an amazing person.  Like her husband said, she always thinks of others and it is truly a blessing.


The boys wore themselves out running around as if they were toddlers.  They jumped in the bounce house and chased each other through the building and laughed and joked and just had a great time.  It was fun watching ALL of the kids have fun.

It was indeed a day to be mindful of the blessings we have and I am blessed with wonderful people in our life.

I love this picture of him laughing

My sweet, tender boy.

I love this picture of our friend Jaime and Daniel.  They were having a great conversation.  I am so blessed with awesome people in my life who help watch over my kids.

The picture we took for Kevin

Perspective

I have been in quite the mood this past week.  It's been quite annoying...I can barely stand myself.  I feel like I am in a real bah humbug mode.  It's hard to break out of it, even though I'm aware of it.  I know a lot of it has to do with Kevin being gone and just missing him.  I have really awesome friends and I love that they want to include our family but even with that I am struggling.  I'm over feeling bad about him being alone as he reminded me quite eloquently that he is NOT alone and never is.  This was his Facebook status yesterday:

I am very thankful during this holiday season for my family. They have stood by me no matter what. I am thankful for my eternal companion who gives selflessly to our family and others. Grateful for another family who watches over mine while I am away. I am not alone on this holiday, my heart is full of the pure love of Christ who gave selflessly for all. Thank you all for watching over me and my family. I love you all!

I'm a lucky girl and I really  need to work harder to remember that.  He had a wonderful Thanksgiving meal at the mess hall with his KATUSAs.  He really enjoyed spending that time with them AND he got a great meal.  He was still full hours later. 

On Thanksgiving Day he will be getting together with a co-worker and some other Soldiers and have some type of Island feast...whatever that means.  He is making chili to take...I mean, he can only do so much with a crock-pot, microwave, electric skillet and a George Foreman grill, LOL.

It sucks being apart for holidays but we still are so fortunate to be able to chat and Skype if we want to.  I am reminded of my best friend LaNita who is without her love and will never get to spend another holiday with him.  I am also reminded that my dear friends, the Phillips, are burying their daughter this week.  I am heartbroken. 

I need to remember that it's all about perspective and gratitude and I need to have more of both.

I will end this entry with another status from my amazing husband:


"Gratitude is the inward feeling of kindness received. Thankfulness is the natural impulse to express that feeling. Thanksgiving is the following of that impulse."
- Henry Van Dyke

Thanksgiving 2010

Yesterday was a day of togetherness and relaxation. We kept it very low key. It started off with a Turkey Bowl. The men (both "old" and young) met out on this very cold, rainy day to see who would come out victorious. I went to take pictures and nearly froze to death! It was COLD! It was fun watching the few families who were brave enough to come out though. The young boys were determined to beat the dads. I was a wimp after about 10 minutes and returned to my nice warm truck where I stayed until they made me step out to take a group picture of them. The boys all had a wonderful time.

I loved that I did not have to stress about making a big dinner or worry about if I was going to have enough time to get everything in the oven. We made the decision to go to the Dining Facility (DFAC) for our Thanksgiving Dinner. I have gone in the past with the boys while Kevin was deployed and I have never been disappointed. This is a big event for the cooks and workers in the DFAC. They go all out! We had all the traditional food of Thanksgiving, turkey, potatoes, yams, pies. But we also had prime rib, shrimp cocktail, cake and shakes. The teams made awesome displays of unit crests made out of frosting, cake and candy. The meal was served by different leadership teams from around post. I love the traditions in the Army and am proud that I had the opportunity to partake with my family and friends in a wonderful day of thanksgiving and food (it was so good, have I mentioned that yet?)

We stopped briefly to see if they needed help at the USO and they didn't but they did hand us a couple pies to take home (YUM) and then we came home and became bums for the rest of the day.

We are truly blessed, having been apart for so many holidays I feel lucky to be a family this year and to also spend it with amazing people in our lives. This Army lifestyle is such a blessing to us, I have met some of the most amazing people and I'm lucky to call them my friends.

I hope that everyone had a wonderful day and please remember every day the thousands of Troops are spending this holiday season apart from their families and friends. God Bless Our Troops!

I Am Thankful For....

It's a season of Thanksgiving and many of my friends on Facebook are telling what they are Thankful for each day until Thanksgiving Day. I have decided to do the same. Instead of making a ton of posts, I am going to edit this post daily and keep a running list of what I am thankful for.

1. I am thankful for my awesome husband who loves me...flaws and all.
2. I am thankful for my boys who bring such joy into my life.
3. I am thankful for this Army life. Even with the challenges we have faced in this unique lifestyle, the blessings outweigh the trials.
4. I am thankful for blessed friendships. I have some of the greatest friends ever.
5. I am thankful for my brother and his family. I have the cutest niece and nephew EVER! I love you guys!
6. I am thankful for four seasons. One of the things I love the most about living in MO is the beauty as each season changes.
7. I am thankful for music in my life.
8. I am thankful for the opportunity to be a stay at home mom. It truly is a blessing.
9. I am thankful for the opportunity I had to serve in the United States Army. I am grateful for the experiences and the long lasting friendships I was blessed to make while serving.
10. I am thankful for the opportunity I have to serve in my Military community. I no longer wear the uniform but I have been blessed to continue to serve our Soldiers and their Families.
11. I am thankful for the many men and women who serve and have served our great nation. I am grateful for their sacrifice and the sacrifice of their families. I do not confuse Veterans Day with Memorial Day but I would be remiss to not mention the many who sacrificed it all, who's blue stars turned to gold. I am humbled...by their sacrifice and pray for their families. God Bless Our Veterans.
12. I am thankful for my oldest son Michael. I got to spend a wonderful day alone with him, had wonderful chats and fun just shopping. I love that he doesn't admit to being bored and jumps on any task that I give him, no matter how big or small. I truly am blessed to call him my son.
13. I am thankful for my son Neil, his smile makes me smile and his laugh makes me laugh. I love his perspective and feel blessed that he shares it with us.
14. I am thankful for my son Daniel, he is such a blessing in my life. His crazy sense of humor and random thoughts keep me smiling.
15. I am thankful for my Army family and those who take the time to get to know and understand me.
16. I am thankful for great days like today...I have a great team that I work with who support me and validate me.
17 & 18. I am thankful for friends who bring by "hope you feel better" goody bags and friends who you can wear down phone batteries with...I am truly blessed.
19. I am thankful for opportunities to go on field trips with my kids...what a blessing it is.
20. I am thankful for music in my life and the joy it brings me. I am currently listening to my son playing an instrument he taught himself to play, tackling songs like Stars and Stripes. He practices daily on his own accord. I am truly inspired.
21. I am thankful for the knowledge I have of my Savior and His sacrifice for me. I am thankful for the gospel in my life and the agency to make the decisions I need to for my family and myself. Ultimately the choice is there for me to make about what path I want to take and for that I am grateful.
22. I am thankful for friends who sit in parking lots and for those who share their dinner...I have great people in my life.
23. I am thankful for the opportunity my children have to participate in extra-curricular sports and academics...Neil did awesome tonight!
24. I am thankful for great examples in my children's lives. We had the opportunity to attend an Eagle Scout Court of Honor tonight and we are thankful for the chance to be a part of an amazing ceremony.
25. I am thankful for family, friends, opportunities and blessings. My husband is home safe again this year and for that I am very grateful. I am grateful for the sacrifice of the men and women who are serving away from their families this holiday season. I am grateful for the blanket of freedom they provide for my family. God Bless Our Troops.