A Letter to My Husband...It's Been 16 Years???

Dear wonderful husband of 16 years... (can you believe that's us in the picture above...those were some SEXY glasses you were sporting and look how cute my Mickey sweatshirt is!)

It's crazy to think how far we have come. When you first see the number "16" it seems like a long time but when you really think about it, it's no time at all in the big scheme of things.

Remember when we hated each other? I still don't understand why you made me do push-ups the first time we met, that really wasn't attractive! Then pushing that wall locker out of your room and thinking that I was going to clean up the glass that YOU broke...seriously not cool! OH and let's not forget the port-a-potty incident....what a jerk...sheesh!

But then there were the Jelly Belly's...do you remember the jelly belly's? I bet there are still some rolling around in that barracks room...

I remember the tears the day Michael was born, you remember, right? When you said I was being mean to you? But then there were the sweet tears as you looked at our first-born son, I still remember your smile and how proud you were. (Oh and I also remember the comment about how proud you were in regards to our child being a boy....you remember, right?)

It was quite a journey getting to Korea after that...dealing with a lot of emotions, but we got there and then Neil joined us and it was almost a recreation of Michael's birth with all the tears...when you woke up that is...but a joyous occasion indeed...and then an almost word for word reaction to us having another boy.

The next few years were a little rocky, dealing with big changes in our lives. Moving, career changes, crazy first houses (I think I have forgiven you for the trailer...maybe). Dealing with the loss of a child, that was hard, but we pushed on through and only got stronger.

Do you remember when I told you I was pregnant with Daniel? Probably not our finest moments, so much emotion and fear. We were so afraid. What a dark cloud that loomed over our marriage for a while. But Daniel, he was the sweet spirit we needed to make things right, to remind us of why we were together in the first place. (P.S., same comment about him being a boy just like the other two...I guess it was tradition for you at that point).

Fort Knox. I still think you are the sexiest thing ever in that Drill Sergeant hat! What an overwhelming time for us. Remember those two young men who came and blessed us with the most amazing gift ever? I love that we shared in just a tender occasion together. And then a year later, the sight of our boys all in white...oh...it still brings tears to my eyes.

Fort Hood was rough baby, so rough. There were times I was so unsure of why we were there and where we were headed but I always knew we would journey it together. We made great friends, we learned we didn't have to journey alone. We may have not been together physically a lot of the time, but I will forever be grateful for the spiritual growth we experienced together.

Our first year here in MO was a bit rocky, I really learned a lot about myself. I have loved watching you interact with our boys, it's been so nice to have you here with me completely.

My love, writing this letter to you wasn't about bringing up the past and using it against us. It was a reminder about the path we have traveled to get us where we are today. The road has been hard, sometimes leaving us to wonder how we could ever move forward. But we always pushed forward, sometimes I led the way, sometimes you led the way and most times we walked side by side.

It hasn't always been easy but it has been so worth the journey.

I love you, always, forever and no matter what.

Nay

15 Things I Love....

So in honor of our 15 years of marriage I decided that we should say 15 things we love about each other. You will be able to tell from our answers the way our minds work, hahaWhat Nadine loves about Kevin

1. I love that he likes to watch the Real Housewives of Orange County
2. I love his smile, it makes my whole day better
3. I love that he wants to help every kid he meets
4. I love how sexy he is in uniform
5. I love the way he interacts with our kids
6. I love that he can be silly and serious
7. I love that he can cry
8. I love his laugh and the way it makes me laugh
9. I love the way he gives our kids ridiculous nicknames
10. I love that he entertains my craziness
11. I love that he supports me in everything I do, even when those things cause me to vent to him
12. I love that most of the time he doesn't mind when I volunteer him for things
13. I love his dedication to our Heavenly Father
14. I love that he always puts his family before his own needs
15. I love that he makes up his own words that make no sense

What Kevin loves about Nadine

1. Your love for our Heavenly Father
2. Your Red Hot Temper
3. Your Smile
4. Your Laugh
5. Your Hair
6. Your Eyes (devious looks and the sparkle)
7. Your service to our country
8. Your volunteer work
9. Your passion
10. The birth of our boys
11. Your cooking skills
12. Your commitment to the Gospel
13. Your commitment to our youth in the church
14. Your love of Scouting
15. Being an eternal family

Kevin insists that I add a #16 to count as the year we were together before getting married...
16. Your procrastination of house cleaning (it's true, I hate to clean house)

My #16 is that I love that he is willing to cut me an apple while I type this blog!

15 Years

I can't believe it's been 15 years. Where does the time go? I married my love 15 years ago. I was 19, he was 24. We had no idea what life had in store but we were prepared to travel the journey together. It hasn't been the easiest of journeys and our marriage is far from perfect, but we have endured. Our entire marriage has been a Military marriage.

I have the privilege of interacting with many Military Families on a daily basis. Many are concerned with how their marriage will survive the constant stress and separation. I wish I had the perfect answer but honestly I don't. I just know what we have done and it hasn't always worked. For the most part we have good communication but we falter often and forget the skills we have. We argue, we say mean things but we always forgive. Sometimes the apologies take time to be said but it eventually happens.

We try to focus on the good and we try to keep things in perspective. We don't linger on the bad times and we often remind each other of what we have overcome. We remind each other about the success we have had and encourage one another in everything we do.

One thing that I believe has helped us the most in our marriage is the agreement we made when we first got married. We promised each other that we would not bad mouth one another in front of other people. Now, that's not to say that we have never snapped at each other in front of other people, we are human after all. But we don't talk negatively about each other in front of friends, co-workers, peers, ect. I truly believe it has helped us respect one another. It doesn't mean we are never frustrated with one another or that we think the other is perfect, but our business is our business and I love that.

I don't know what the future has in store for us but I am grateful for what the past has given us. I wouldn't change a thing, I wouldn't stop a tear, hold back a smile, I treasure every laugh and acknowledge every challenge. That journey has brought us here and I'm happy where I am.

I am reminded of two things people have told me that I treasure always in relation to my marriage.

One guy we know told us "You guys make me want to be married."
A friend who also worked in Kevin's unit told me "I hope when I get married that my husband speaks about me, the way Kevin speaks about you." (I still get choked up remembering that conversation.)

Kevin, I love you, I look forward to an eternity with you.

14 Years

It's crazy how time flies. I swear we were just at 7 years of marriage and now we are at double that. What a journey it has been. I was going to write that we've been married "happily" for 14 years but that would be a lie. We haven't always been married "happily". I feel it's important to be honest. Like any other couple we have had good times and bad times. Both of those have made us stronger. I love my husband more today then I did the day I married him.

I know we are both grateful for the trials and the joys that we have experienced. We may not have always appreciated them while we have gone through them but our marriage has come out stronger in the end.

Last September we attended a Marriage Retreat through Kevin's unit. I never wrote about it because aside from a nice break away from everything, I didn't really enjoy it. There were few couples there who had been married over 3 years. And the ones that had been were struggling. It was very weird to be around them. It was odd to listen to what they felt was important in their marriage. When Kevin and I would contribute to the discussions we were often looked at like what we were saying was weird. We mostly talked about respecting one another and how that is a good foundation to build upon. Mingling with these other couples at meals made it obvious that there was that respect factor missing in many of the relationships. It made me sad. I came out of that marriage retreat more grateful for my relationship with my husband. I'm not saying we are perfect and that we never disrespect each other because we're human and it happens.

I found it sad that we were the longest married couple at the retreat aside from the Chaplain who was in charge of it. We were not the oldest couple. I have recently "met" quite a few young Military couples and I want them to know that Military marriages can work! It isn't without a lot of effort and a lot of respect and trust. Love isn't enough.

Kevin and I have endured some hefty trials in our 14 years, loss of children, serious injuries, illnesses, loss of friends, extreme separation and whatever other mundane struggles every marriage goes through. How we got through many of those is through our faith in our Heavenly Father and our faith in ourselves and each other.

In the end, as I look back at the past 14 years I cringe at some of the fights, I laugh at some of the silliness and I cry at some of the heartache but overall, I smile at the blessing of an amazing man to call my husband.

Kevin, 14 years is a short amount of time in the eternal prospect of our life together, I look forward to more ups and downs in this journey of life that we'll travel together. I love you.

13 Years

Today is our 13 year anniversary. Kevin is gone...again. The past 13 years haven't always been easy and it has been far from perfect but the journey has been so worth it. I often reflect on the challenges that have been thrown in our path. I can look at how we have overcome them together. I feel so blessed to have Kevin as my husband. I look at our three beautiful boys and am so grateful that the Lord felt we were the ones for these special spirits. I look forward to the eternity we have to spend with each other. I miss you Kevin and I wish we could celebrate together but I'm grateful for the spiritual connection we share. We are never truly without one another. I love you baby, Happy Anniversary!

12 years...

Today marks 12 years since Kevin and I said I do and pledged our love for one another...12 years since we looked into one another's eyes both wondering if the ceremony would ever end, would this guy ever stop talking? Yeah, that is really what it was like for me. I knew I loved him and I knew I wanted to be with him forever..but at that moment I was 9 months pregnant and the room was unbearably hot and I was hungry. Yup, folks that is the reality of my wedding day. We swapped our cheap wedding rings and after our ceremony we stopped at McDonald's for some Big Macs (a gourment meal for a pregnant woman, let me tell you!)

I have no shame in telling that tale for it is our story...I can look back and see how far we have come as a couple..as a family...I have no shame. Every trial has ended with growth in some way...every decision has come with consequence...sometimes good, sometimes bad..but whatever it was..we endured it together.

We are no different than any other couple..we have had our good times, we have had our bad times. We have argued, we have joked, we have cried, we have laughed...always it was us...we..two people. We are one union...we are individuals but we don't function one without the other...that is was marriage is really all about.

I look back at the years and think of the hard times...illness, loss of a child, diagnosis of disorders, unwanted separations, deaths of loved ones. My heart aches with some of the memories but they are soon trumped by the memories and smiles of the good times. The births of our children, the milestones, new friendships, an evening at the grocery store, a walk around the neighborhood. I think of the tough times and see how far we've come..if we hadn't endured those moments, we couldn't have the good ones...because as the scriptures say...we can't know joy, if we don't know sorrow.

Kevin is home this year for our anniversary...in 12 years, there have been many where he has been gone. I am grateful that I got to wake up next to him this morning to see his face, his smile...next year, he'll wake up in Iraq and I will wake up alone...again.

Something I've learned over the past 22 months or so is that it's not about worrying about what tomorrow will bring but being grateful for what we have today. To live in the moment.

I will reflect on the past 12 years and be grateful for what the Lord has given us. I will pray that tomorrow brings us more happiness and if a new trial is placed before us, I know that together we can overcome anything.

Kevin...sometimes I don't feel worthy enough of your love...I say the wrong things and I am often selfish...but I am grateful for you in my life. I am grateful for this beautiful little family we have been given. I know that you belong to the Lord and He has only lent you to me for a little while...and I am grateful for that. I love you...forever, for always and no matter what.