I was ill-equipped to deal with the loss of our baby girl. I was shocked at the deepness of emotions that I have been feeling. We sobbed...ugly, red-faced, loud, gut wrenching cries that echo throughout the room sobbing. I was not prepared for that.
Sapper came into our lives when our family needed healing. She has been through combat deployments, moves, breakups, my boys going on missions and off to college. She has been there through family deaths, Army retirement, surgeries and just because. While Sapper was closest to me and Neil, she really loved all of us, she went to whomever needed extra love and she was a fierce protector. I still don't know what she thought she was going to do with her 3.5 lbs of attitude but she sure let you know she was going to do her best to protect her humans.
We have been a huge mess trying to transition without our baby girl. I had a really hard time processing my emotions. I was so confused by how much I would cry or just feel in general. I didn't cry this hard when my dad died, I never cried this much over a human death and it really perplexed me. As I continued to ponder on it, I realized it was because Sapper truly gave us all unconditional love. She loved us no matter what. My human relations always had some type of condition attached to their love and with Sapper she just loved. She loved me when I was annoyed at her for not going to bed, or when I accidentally dropped my phone on her or when we were gone all day. She loved me when I forgot to feed her on time or dropped some food on her when she was hanging out in the kitchen. She loved me always and she always forgave.
I know eventually our hearts will heal and we will be able to think of her without pain but we are all grateful for this precious soul who was brought into our loves to teach us love and forgiveness.
We love you Sapper Princess, we miss you and we were blessed with 12 amazing years with you.
