Happy 14th Birthday Neil!

Note* Neil was born in Korea, 14 years ago. And since it's already the 31st in Korea, I want to go ahead and wish my handsome boy a Happy Birthday!! (and in Korea, he would be considered 15 because they celebrate their "1st" birthday the day they are born!)

I cannot believe another year has gone by and my kids continue to get older. I love watching them progress and yet it makes my heart ache to see time moving so fast. I love my boys and I wish they would stay little boys, yet I also love watching them grow into these amazing young men!

Oh my sweet Neil, how can I ever tell you how much I love you. From the day I met you and held you in my arms, I wondered who you would be and what you would be like. You always looked up to Michael and wanted to do everything he was doing. You didn't start talking until you were almost 4, making me sad because I didn't know what was going on in your little mind. You always had the sweetest little smile, a bit crooked and I often wondered what it meant. You were so content to play by yourself and didn't require too much attention.

You were never overly affectionate and you still aren't. I will never forget the day you laid your sweet little head on my shoulder when you were 9 years old and whispered in my ear..."I love you."

I know now that you do love daddy and me, you just don't always know how to express it. I am amazed at how much you have grown spiritually and physically over the past year. The way you are now a true friend to others, the way you can now connect socially. I finally feel like we know who you are and what you are all about. Everyday that I look at you, I feel so blessed to be your mother. I love your still crooked smile. I love your laugh and I love your smirk.

I love you Neil, these past 14 years have been challenging at times yet so rewarding.

Daddy and I are so blessed to call you our son, we love you...always and forever!

You may grow taller and bigger than me, but you will always be my little boy...always!

Blessed with Three Crazy Boys!

(click to make pic larger)

I love my boys! I know I have said this time and time again but I just do! Yesterday we were making the wrestling videos I posted yesterday and listening to tons of different music. I think all the different songs we listened to make my boys crazy. We were laughing and teasing each other. It was just so sweet. It made me sad to think that in a few years my boys will be grown up and will be leaving home. I'm so not ready!
After laughing with the boys for a while I suddenly felt nostalgic and wanted a picture of my three boys. I am constantly amazed at how much they look alike and how many of their mannerisms are so similar!
I tried to get a simple pic of my three boys and what you see above is the result. They could not be serious for a pic. It just made me love them that much more!

A Tale of Two Gyms

How is that for a dramatic type title, haha! But really we did deal with two gyms this past weekend at our wrestling tournament. The older kids were in one gym and the younger kids in another. It makes for a stressful time in our family because of course Neil and Daniel end up wrestling in two different gyms. This week they also happened to have close match numbers, usually 1-2 numbers between each of their matches. We spent a lot of time running. I actually missed Daniel's last match because I was in the other gym waiting for Neil's match to start. So much stress trying to be in two places at once! The boys did well with Neil placing 2nd and Daniel placing 3rd.

If you remember last week I was feeling bad about the way we acted towards a kid. I made an effort to find the kid this week and apologize. Unfortunately, after feeling bad all week and apologizing the kid went out and fought dirty again. *Sigh* we just have to remember to be the bigger people and let it go. He beat Neil again this week but the match was close. I would rather Neil lose wrestling a fair match than win being dirty and unsportsmanlike. We just use this as a teaching tool and move on.

I decided after seeing another wrestling parent put up a montage of his son's matches to do the same. So for your viewing pleasure (oh come on, you know you love the videos of my kids!!) here are Neil and Daniel's wrestling matches in one video for each from this past weekend! Enjoy!

Another Drill Sergeant Spouse Seminar Blog Post!

Tired yet of hearing about the Drill Sergeant Spouse Seminar I faciliated this past November? Well at least it's not wrestling, right? Haha...

The Drill Sergeant of the Year shared this short video that was made from that seminar, it isn't long and you get a small glimpse of what the spouses went through that day. Can you find me??

It's So Easy to Get Spoiled

Ugh, I can't even believe that I am writing this entry but I'm all about being real and this is me being real.

Kevin is TDY this week, he was tasked with escorting two Soldiers from our Brigade to compete for an NCO/Soldier of the Year event. He'll just be gone this week...one week. You would think when he told me he was leaving for a week that he told me he was deploying for another year. No, I didn't have a breakdown or anything but I instantly thought, crap, what a week for him to be gone when we have so much on the calendar with the kids and with my volunteer obligations.

It's funny, for pretty much a decade I never really thought twice about "needing" Kevin. I know that sounds bad but his schedule was so unpredictable that I just always figured I'd be on my own. Even our first year and half here, I still had a hard time believing he really was home and that he really was available to help me when I needed it. Well I've gotten pretty comfortable with having him around. Having him help me take the boys here and there and doing various errands. He works about a quarter mile from our house and that has been SOOOO nice, plus our youngest son's school is about 1/2 mile from his office. It's been so nice having him around.

I didn't realize how comfortable I had gotten and how easy it was to get spoiled. I know the week will fly by and I'm happy that those two Soldiers have him as their sponsor. He really is a great Soldier and loves taking care of Soldiers so I hope they will see him as an asset to their journey through this competition. He is doing what he loves and even when I'm "that" wife for just a moment, I can still see the big picture.

I just want to ask one more question though..."Is it Friday yet?"

A Rough Day on the Mats

(Don't they look so happy?)

Yesterday, we hosted the wrestling tournament right here in our town. You would think it would make for a less exhausting day but I have come to realize that emotion = exhaustion and yesterday was emotional.

Both Neil and Daniel finished 3rd respectively. They both won two matches and lost two matches.

I admit I came home pretty upset with myself. During Neil's first match, it got pretty ugly. Both the wrestling and the reactions of myself and Kevin. I am not proud. In fact, I let myself stay pretty worked up for a couple hours after his match. I said some not so nice things to the kid...a KID! (I didn't curse at the kid but my reaction was not what it should have been, just want to clarify that) I have prayed a lot about it and I hope I can track down the kid's information so I can apologize to him. I talked to Neil about my reaction and how I was wrong. I want to teach my kids that I mean what I say when we teach them to "leave it on the mat" and to be good sportsman. It doesn't matter what the kid did that got us worked up, what matters is that we were wrong and we can only control ourselves.

Both the boys get pretty worked up emotionally when they lose and of course it makes me emotional to see it. I want to work with them to focus on the fact that they won't always win and how to lose gracefully. In life things don't always turn out the way we want them to but we can choose how to react.

I am proud of all three of our boys and they are such examples to us. Now it's up to us to be good examples for them.

Here are two matches from yesterday.

SAHM = Priority: Kids!

(I thought this picture was cute...found it on the internet)

Our 13 year old is home sick today. There is a nasty bug going around and while my kids are fairly healthy and usually steer clear of these bugs, I knew one of the boys who wrestle would likely get it since it seems to be going around the team. I also knew that once I mentioned to a group of ladies last night at our battalion coffee that my kids never get sick, one of them would!

So this morning when my son walked into my bedroom and told me he just felt awful, I sent him back to bed. I waited until I knew the people I volunteer for would be in the office and I called in to let them know I would not be able to come in and teach. Thankfully I volunteer....key word VOLUNTEER....for wonderful people who know that my family comes first...ALWAYS.

I posted on my FB status that my kid was sick and I would be home all day. I received a message shortly after from someone I vaguely know asking me if I was supposed to teach today. I replied back that yes, I was going to but I would not be able to and the person who is in charge of the program would be teaching (he is fully capable, I mean that's what he gets paid to do). She replied back that she thought my son was old enough to stay home by himself, so why was I staying home with him when I had another obligation. Excuse me?

I know that there are many people in this area who think I actually have a job where I earn wages. I do quite a bit of volunteer work around this community and I am often everywhere. My children go to school full-time and so I take the time they are away from the house and I go in an volunteer. I try hard to always be home with them when they are home and I try to always be there for their various activities, programs, conferences and whatever else might come up.

That is the reason I choose to be a stay-at-home mom. To be here for my kids. I was a working mom and I loved my job, but it was hard for me to be away from them so much or to hope that my bosses could be understanding enough when my kids were sick. Sometimes I had to find someone to watch my sick kids because I HAD to go to work (I was in the Army, you don't just get to choose to not go to work). I just didn't want to do that anymore, I didn't want to be in a position where I had to ask someone permission to take care of my family. I didn't want to be in a position where I had to make a choice.

I feel so blessed to be able to stay at home with my kids, I am grateful that is an option for our family. I know that there are many working mothers out there who balance it all out and I respect them for that. This is the right choice for ME.

My 13 year old may not need me to cuddle him the way a toddler would but he still needs me and I'm grateful that I can be here for him.

I've tackled this topic before in a post I wrote a couple years ago...Maximizing My Potential

My Back Says Thank You!

I have the best husband! A box was just delivered addressed to him, so I sent him a text letting him know he got a box. He sent me a reply telling me to go ahead and open it, that it was for me. I opened it and it's my very own stadium chair! I know it might seem silly to be excited about such a thing but week after week in various bleachers for football or wrestling tournaments can take a toll on one's back. Thank you baby, I love you!

Sports Mama

I have to admit I was quite hesitant to let my boys play sports. When we lived in TX, I never let the boys play sports. Every year they would ask and every year I would say no. The two main reasons were always that I did not want to be running around with three boys in all kinds of directions when their dad was deployed or gone (which he was most of the time we lived in TX). The other reason was because I really wasn't sure I wouldn't be the crazy parent on the sideline (yes, that was a very real concern for me). Never has it really been an issue of worrying about kids being hurt playing "dangerous sports".

When we moved here I promised the boys they could play sports since Kevin was going to have an assignment that left him home more and I wouldn't be doing all the shuttling by myself. Michael claims I ruined sports for him forever by not letting him play when he was younger (insert eye roll here). But I'm okay with that, Michael is my kindred spirit, his passion and natural ability when it comes to music is AMAZING. I'm glad that music is a big part of who he is.

Last year was our first year dealing with sports. Neil took on football and did really well, then he went onto wrestling. I did not have too much anxiety with football but let me tell you wrestling was a whole new animal. I was not prepared for the level of anxiety I felt, nor was I ready for the emotions that came with watching your child become so emotional about a loss. Mix in that my baby wanted to wrestle too and I was a mess. I survived though and I was so amazed with how both boys grew so much in social skills and self-confidence.

This year both Daniel and Neil played football and I will admit it was really hard letting Daniel play. I tried hard to encourage him to play flag football but he wasn't having it. He wasn't the star player but he sure played his heart out and he learned so much. I was amazed at how he pushed through pain and frustration to do what needed to be done. And I love watching him interact with his teammates.

I have surprised myself when it comes to how I deal with it all on the sidelines. I admit I really thought I would be the crazy mom yelling at everyone from the sidelines. There have only been a couple times when I have acted slightly crazy but I'll argue forever that I was in the right!

I have no regrets for not having them play sports when they were younger, I truly believe we have to do what is right for our family during different times in our live. I am grateful for the opportunities they have to interact with others and learn and grow.

And I'm grateful that I have learned to be rather calm when my child comes home looking like this and not freaking out about it...

(Neil's face met someone's shoe at wrestling practice)

The Military Spouse Quiz

I've seen quite a few MilSpouses doing this little quiz on their blogs so I decided I'd do it to. I'm busy avoiding chores that need to be done and dinner that needs to be thrown in the crockpot!

The Milspouse Quiz

1. How did you and your spouse meet? We met in the Army while stationed at Fort Campbell...we were in the same unit and no we didn't like each other when we first met! You can read our story here.

2. How old were you when you two met? I was 18, he was 24.

3. How long have you been together? We will be married 16 years in March, we dated almost a year before that so we have been together almost 17 years.

4. Where are you and your spouse originally from? I call Idaho home because that is where I moved when I was a freshman in high school and where my parents still live. I moved around some as a kid though. Kevin was born and raised in Grand Forks, North Dakota

5. How did you feel about him joining the military? He was already in when we met and I have always supported him reenlisting. He has now served for over 20 years and still going.

6. Where did your spouse go to Basic Training? Fort Jackson, South Carolina (I went there too, 5 years later!)

7. Has your spouse ever been deployed? Yes, to Iraq a couple times

8. Ever been to his promotion ceremony? Yes, one...his last promotion was while he was in Iraq, I kind of got to see it on a video teleconference and through pictures.

9. How long have you been a military wife? Almost 16 years.

10. Did you marry him before or after he joined? After, we met because we both joined!

11. How did your husband propose? Well...he didn't. I proposed to him. If you read the Story of Us that I linked to in question #1, you read how that all went down.

12. Where did you get married? In the home of a local retired county commissioner

13. How old were you two when you got married? I was 19, he was 24

14. Did he wear his uniform on his wedding day? Nope...we were super casual...still have zero regrets about that

15. Where are you and your spouse currently stationed? Fort Leonard Wood, MO

16. Do you live on post? Yes

17. How long were you married when you had to go through your first separation? two and a half weeks...he was sent out to a long field exercise 3 days after I had our son who was born 19 days after we got married

18. What is your favorite post so far? Taegu, South Korea...LOVED it there...would love to go back someday. Our middle son was born there.

19. Do you think your spouse looks good in his uniform? He's sexy to begin with, the uniform is just an added bonus!

20. Do you think military life is more advanced than civilian life? I have noticed most Spouses don't know what this questions means or how to answer it. I wouldn't say more advanced...not even sure what that is supposed to mean. I think Military life and civilian life are DIFFERENT. They each come with their own unique challenges.

21. Do you like the benefits you receive as a military dependent? I'm grateful for them. We're coming to the end of our Military career and we will be losing some of those benefits that we currently do not pay for in a monetary manner. Nothing is "free"...much sacrifice is made for the benefits that we receive.

22. Do you have a lot of military wife friends? Yes...doing this for 16 years, you pick up friends along the journey

23. What is the hardest part of the military life? I think the separations...it's hard going in and out of routines, especially with the kids. And when the separations are a result of deployment, the added worry can be overwhelming.

24. Do you own military wife stuff? Not really, I have patriotic stuff but not a lot that specifically says Army wife

25. Do you support your spouse as a member of the military? Of course, it would make for a terrible marriage if I didn't support what consumes most of his life.