November brings messages of Thanksgiving and plenty of food. Yesterday when I woke up and pondered on what the day would bring, I was surprised that I wasn't feeling depressed that Michael wasn't here to celebrate the holiday. I reflected on that for a moment and wondered how I could have such peace when in the past during separation from anyone in our family, I have felt extreme sadness. What I realized quickly was that my heart had a deep understanding that Michael is exactly where he should be doing what the Lord wants him to be doing. The slap in the face for me came when I realized that I should have felt that way during all of Kevin's deployments as well. I say I know that the Lord has a plan for us but my fear and worry in those cases contradicts that. I should have prayed for peace and understanding that Kevin was also on the Lord's errand, it just looked different than Michael's.
So many other missionary moms talk about their sadness and pain and I started to wonder if I was the weird one because I wasn't overcome with those emotions. I fully expected to be as Michael prepared to go on his mission. I mean, let's be serious, I am the mom that stresses when the kids drive themselves to school. I almost had a heart attack a couple days ago when Neil drove to work out and it started snowing while he was gone. What's interesting is that I don't have that anxiety when it comes to Michael being in a completely foreign county.
Michael is on the Lord's errand and He is the one in control. I can't be sad that Michael has been obedient and willing to do as his Heavenly Father has asked. I need to be obedient and not live my life with fear and worry. I need to exercise my faith that all will be well. Who better to watch over Him than his Father in Heaven?
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