I love how each week when I go to church people ask me how Michael is doing and how I am doing. I feel so proud to say with sincerity that I am doing good. I really am doing well. I really had no idea how I would be when Michael left but aside from the first day when our entire family was an emotional mess and another random day where I just missed him, I am doing great. I realized right from his first email that he is happy to be where he is and that he is exactly where he is supposed to be. He is serving the Lord and I just can't be sad about it. I believe these feelings of peace and happiness are a big blessing from my Heavenly Father.
Don't get me wrong, I miss Michael but I don't ache for him and I feel so lucky. I know that our entire family has been affected by him leaving because we love him but we are happy for him. We love to read his emails and imagine him writing them. I love the pictures he sends and most of all I just love that he felt so strongly that this is what he was supposed to do.
We were a happy family before we made the decision to strengthen our relationship with our Savior but we are so much happier now. I am eternally grateful for the two young men who sacrificed two years of their life to find us and so many others. I cannot be selfish and be sad that my son wants to go out and teach others about our Savior's love and bring them unto Him. This is the greatest act of paying it forward and I must have a willing heart and I do!
There are true blessings when you have a child out serving the Lord. I have already seen them in just this short amount of time. One thing I started since he left is a small blessings journal. I am trying to keep track of little blessings. Simple things like the fact that someone thought of our family for tickets to a concert or the willingness of more people than were needed to help transport some of the youth in our church. I want to make sure I recognize ALL the things that my Father in Heaven blesses me with.
I can't express how humbled I feel by this experience so far. If this first month is any indication of how the next 23 months will be, I know that we will be okay. I'm not naive enough to believe we won't have hard moments or tribulation but because we know that this is part of Heavenly Father's plan, we know we can get through it!
I am so proud of Michael, my heart is full and our family is blessed. Next time you ask me how I'm doing, please believe me when I say that I am doing GREAT!
"I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth." 3 John 1:4
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