Today I cried. I hate when things get to me to the point where I suddenly feel alone, attacked and lost. Today didn't start out like that, it was actually a pretty good day until late afternoon when I checked my email. I was pretty taken aback by what I read and then the day went down from there.
I dislike when situations have me second guessing myself. I don't feel that I was wrong in any of these situations. Perhaps I had moments where I let emotions get the best of me but overall the way I was attacked was wrong. Having my character and feelings questioned was hurtful. I was angry then sad and then just felt defeated.
I had to get a good cry in and then I prayed....a lot. I prayed for forgiveness for anything I may have done wrong, I prayed for clarity to see my part in these situations and I prayed for the courage to get through these. I'm a big person on confrontation and sometimes it's a huge thing so I prayed to be able to hold myself back.
I'm human, I have feelings and sometimes they get hurt. Today was one of those days. I happened to come across a great quote that brought me great relief and release. I know this quote is true for those who come into my life and vice versa, for those who's lives I cross into.
lives, your friendships, your marriages, your families, your neighbors
and coworkers currently constitute the sample of humanity which God has
given you. We are each other’s clinical
material, and we make a mistake when we disregard that sober fact. No
wonder, therefore, we feel stress at times. … Now, you are going to have
days when people make a large draft on your patience, when they lay
claim to your long-suffering that you may feel they don’t quite deserve.
This is part of the chemistry that goes on in discipleship if we are
serious about it, as we constitute each other’s clinical material.” Neal