Sunday, May 12, 2013

The Best Job I Never Wanted

Today I was asked at church to bear my testimony on motherhood.  I readily agreed thinking that it was an easy topic to talk briefly about.  I mean, I'm a mom and I love it!  How hard could it be to stand up and bear witness of that?  As I waited for the time to come when I would go up and talk about what it was like to be a mom, I felt pretty confident in what I was going to say.  I was going to talk about how much I love my boys and  how I love being a stay at home mom and then I would end it.  All the way up to the pulpit I was thinking it would be short and sweet.

As I begin to speak, the words that came out were not what I had in mind!  I shared some very personal things that I have spoken about in Relief Society but not in front of the whole congregation.  I was somewhat surprised at how honest I was about the fact that I never wanted to be a mom or a wife and the reasons why.  I cried as I talked about the fear I had and how I was still unsure of myself at times.

When I got home, I reflected on what I shared and I felt so blessed to be able to stand in front of my ward family and share that I knew that my Heavenly Father loved me because he blessed me with these three amazing spirits to take care of.  I am humbled to know that He trusts me to take care of His children and to do the best I can to get them back to Him.  I feel so grateful that even when my husband is 6800 miles away and 14 hours ahead of me that I know I am not raising these kids alone, that my Heavenly Father is always walking right along side of me.

This motherhood gig is the hardest thing I have ever done and yet the most rewarding.  I honestly smile everyday when I think of my kids.  I love the random conversations we have, the silly looks they give me and I especially love when they call me mama.

My prayer for them is that they know how much I love them and that I will always do whatever I can to be their biggest advocate.

I'm so glad that the Lord knew me better than I thought I knew myself when He sent these sweet spirits down to me.  Motherhood is the best job I never wanted.


Hazel O'Donnell said...

Oh, do we need to compare notes. It is the best job I never wanted as well. I never thought I would have children, I never thought I would be a decent mom or be able to love so unconditionally. I'm glad that Heavenly Father knows best and that these sweet spirits were daring enough to pick me. Gratitude mixed with awe. Love you girl!

Jen said...

:) Happy Mother's Day!!