Saturday, August 04, 2012

Goodbyes Suck

I don't care how long we have been doing this Army life thing or how many deployments/separations we have been through, the reality is...goodbyes suck.  We sent our Soldier off on the plane today to Korea and it was just as emotional as when we sent him off to war.  My kids love their dad and I love my husband.
It's been hard trying to balance out my emotions.  I've been giving myself some stern talks about how to deal with this but the truth is that my heart aches.
I have had amazing support from the people that matter in our lives and I really need to stay focused on that. I have to admit though that there have been some people who have said things that have been hurtful and hateful.  I feel the need to address some of the things that have been thrown in my face.

1.  We did not choose this assignment to Korea.  While we chose to not pursue command sponsorship, we did not choose for our family to be separated, the Army did.  There is no guarantee that the Army would have approved our sponsorship anyway since we have a child that is registered with the Exceptional Family Member Program.  So please don't tell me that we CHOSE this and if you feel that way, please don't talk to me or my family, you aren't helpful and frankly we don't need you in our life.

2.  We did not pursue command sponsorship because our kids did not want to leave their friends.  Not that we owe anyone justification as to our reasons why we didn't apply, we chose what was best for our family.  Having two kids in high school who are focused on college and have a path lined out where they are, we are putting our family first.  What is right for our family may not look like what is right for yours and that is okay.  We also have a child who has a hard time adjusting to big change, so again, this is right for our family.  We could have possibly been together in Korea but our children may have been miserable trying to adjust or find new activities and friends.  So again, what's right for us, may not be right for you but it's not for you to judge, you only see what we let you see.

3.  Ultimately, this is our current trial and we choose to embrace it and make the best of it.  There will be days that it will suck (like today).  There will be days where we'll look and see that another week or month has flown by.

I try not to be so negative on our blog but I also try to be real.  I am proud of my husband and his desire to continue to serve.  We make every decision with a prayer in our hearts and the Lord's will in our mind.  We know we will survive.  We have great people in our life who are there to support us in any way we need.  We are however, human and we feel pain and emotion just like everyone else. 

Kevin is a big part of our everyday life and we will feel the void until he returns home to us.  I love you Kevin, may time fly by quickly so we can be together again.



Bethany said...

You absolutely don't owe anyone justification for your family's decision. I can't believe anyone would give you flack for that!! By the way, the pics are great. You can definitely see the love y'all have for one another :)

Amanda said...

I hope the time goes quickly & the activities can fill the days he is away. I know your dilemma as my husband is on orders now & with an EFMP child he would go & we would stay. It's never ideal but you must decide what your family can endure no one else knows. Good Luck , you can do this.

Mrs. L said...

I can totally relate to your unaccompanied assignments. We too have an EFMP child which makes living overseas difficult because not every base has services for simple anxiety and ADHD, but that's a whole other venting session. My husband recently deployed to Afghan for a year so I can relate. We've always lived near other military families in our ward, and this time it's different, but so very different with their skewed ideas of military life and their ignorance (I use "ignorance" bc they really do choose to ignore what's going on globally with war on terror.)

Hang in there. There are better days ahead. Not the best with a husband away- but better.

~Mrs. L

TotallyContent said...

Bethany is right! Love you Nadine.