Sunday, August 15, 2010

Not being "THAT" Spouse

So I've had over 48 hours to mull over a conversation I had Friday. I'm not going to lie, it ticked me off pretty good. It has me thinking about the perceptions that MilSpouses have about themselves and others. Perceptions already bug me, I honestly read very few "MilSpouse" blogs because many of them are rants about all that they aren't instead of what I feel is worthwhile content for my time. Crap, I started to go off on a sidebar!

Anyway, I was listening to a conversation between a couple of spouses about one of their recent PCS's. They were just having a casual conversation about moves and the one girl went on to list all the reasons why they were at the one location for as long as they were. A lot of it was "Military talk". After a while I asked what unit the husband was in here and she mentioned his branch. I asked her if he was in a certain brigade and she snapped at me that she was not "THAT" kind of spouse who is all in her husband's business. I had to take a deep breath not to snap back or actually punch her in that moment (why would I want to result in physical violence? Because she was such a snot!). The other lady sitting with us mentioned that I had been a Soldier and so I was into all "that" stuff.

Now seriously, knowing what unit your spouse is in is not like digging into all his business. I know there are many spouses who choose not to be as involved and that is okay. I believe knowing what unit your husband is in is a common sense kind of thing but hey that's just me. And she was a contradiction unto herself anyway since obviously she was the kind of spouse who knows things about her husband's units and jobs since just a few minutes earlier she had went through a rather lengthy description of their entire Army career. And might I add that she had no qualms about dropping her husband's rank during that discussion either.

She just really irked me with her snotty attitude. Personally I don't care how involved one is with their spouses career. I support my husband and perhaps the reason I like to know about my husband, his unit and his Soldiers does have something to do with wearing the uniform itself but honestly I don't think so. I have many MilSpouse friends who have not worn the uniform but know what unit their Spouse is in and the basics of their jobs..

Why did it bug me so much, I believe it was because she implied that I was some kind of crazy wife who felt the need to be in my husband's business and her husband's. What she should know and did know before I left the area was that I really don't care at all about her, her husband or his Army career. I was actually being nice since they were new to the area again and figured if they ended up being in our Brigade, I would hook her up with people, info and resources. But I guess she wouldn't want help from "that" kind of wife, so good luck to her in being whatever kind of spouse she wants to be. And I'll just continue being "THAT" spouse because it makes me pretty darn happy!


Sespi said...

Maybe she just didn't know and was embarrassed. I can't imagine not knowing your husband's unit. It's definitely not being all up in his business - they ask for it all the time on base here. I've even been asked for my husband's unit at the vet clinic!

TheAlbrechtSquad said...

I have met many people in the classes I teach on post who don't know and honestly I don't judge them. This lifestyle can be overwhelming for anyone!

What annoyed me was her attitude about it all and the tone of her voice.

Jessica said...

That's one of the first things that I ask and remember! It seems as though anytime I went anywhere on post, they would always ask what unit my husband was with. I know a little about what he does, but just the basics.

I don't like spouses wearing the rank either! That really gets on my nerves!

New follower! I follow you on twitter as well.

Paula said...

Knowledge is power. You should know what unit your Soldier is in because you never know when you're going to need that stuff.
When my husband was battalion commander, I would meet lots of Soldier's spouse's who had no idea what company they were in or how to get info on anything. It's really sad, I think.
Like I said, knowledge is power and I want to know all I can to get through this crazy Army life!

silver star said...

My husband just transferred to another unit, I know what base its at, and what most members do, but I couldn't tell you anything else. The last 2, I can tell you more details, he still drills with one and he almost deployed with the other. I think its important to know that stuff, but maybe that's just me.

Mandy said...

Wow! I can't imagine not knowing my husband's unit or anything about his chain of command! That's so much a part of who he is and what he does! He would be offended if I didn't know it!

USMCWIFE said...

Well I must be "that" spouse because I know and have always wanted to know about what my hubs does, I found out early what all the acronyms meant, what his MOS was and what he did for a living, not that he was a Marine but what he actually did everyday when he left. I know as much as I can and why shouldn't I, I talk to my husband and he is my best friend, don't best friends know a lot about what they do? I have learned as much about the service as I can short of being in the service. I always felt the more I educated myself the more I would understand my lifestyle. I continue to learn now, not just about our service but now through meeting a lot of Army wives I ask questions, I am curious, what are certain awards and patches and things like that. I find it incredibly interesting to find out as much as I can about the men and woman that mean so much to this I guess if that makes me one of "those" spouses so be it. Thank you for being so supportive to me always..

Lee-Ruth-Clark-Cal-Shanna-Haley-Elden said...

I love your profile picture of your family! And wow, quite the conversation! I think I would have thought about that one a lot too. Knowing your husband's brigade would be the same as knowing which division he works in at, say, the local bank. It was great seeing you Saturday. Thanks for the blog info!