Saturday, February 20, 2010

Sometimes....

I wonder..are we really where we are supposed to be? Sometimes it's hard to have the faith we need to accept the place we are at.

I like Fort Leonard Wood, it's growing on me. I'm slowly finding my footing here, getting involved and making friends. Yet there is still a HUGE ache in my heart when I allow myself to think about the relationships I built there. I really miss it.

But more so...I miss the opportunities my kids had there. Slowly they are finding things here but it's not the same. My kids all miss Chess terribly..there is nothing really here for them. I tried to contact the high school Chess coach here to see if he knew about anything but like all the other teachers it seems in this school district, he couldn't be bothered with responding. This week, there are state championships in TX, I KNOW my kids would have been there and they would have done well. They worked hard all these years and surely deserve that experience, but instead here we are in a place where no one even cares. I feel bad for them because they mention it.

We try hard to remind them that life is about change and that we go to different places for different experiences. This isn't always an easy lifestyle and lots of sacrifices come. They are slowly finding their footing too. We finally broke down and bought Michael a bassoon since the school district was one again not helpful in that situation and we knew he just wasn't happy with playing the flute. I was able to find one on ebay for a decent price and now he is happy. Neil and Daniel are both making friends. I think Michael is too but he's at that awkward age..we're just trying to do the right thing.

Right now outside of Scouts, the boys are not involved in anything extra-curricular and I really hate that. They aren't really into sports and the sports that were open when we moved here had already started, so even if they wanted to play, they missed the cutoff.

We make a lot of sacrifices in this lifestyle and perhaps we feel it more this time around because we were at Fort Hood for so long (the longest we have ever been) or maybe it's because the boys are getting older. We'll get through this but it is hard.

Sometimes I wonder if we harm our kids with all the moves and changes..

Sometimes I just wish things could stay the same...

Sometimes...you just want things to be the same...just for a little while longer...but only sometimes...

7 comments:

John, Heather, Emma and Lily said...

I have those same feelings - I am always afraid that the moves and changes will hurt my kids too. Here's my encouragement to you: Your home is a Christ centered God-fearing home. You can find joy and peace in Christ AND your boys will have "roots" in the only thing that really matters in this life. Keep your head down and keep going - fun is JUST around the corner!!!

The "Dish" on the Dastrup's said...

My heart aches for you on this one. It's a hard one. The boys will be fine! You will be strong, as always, and find or create things for them. It'll work out and you'll look back and be grateful. Praying for you!

USMCWIFE said...

Hey Lady
I have no doubt your kids will thrive were they are. First of all they have a foundation built on love and parents that love them and show one another mutual respect and love for one another. As you know my son was moved around to 4 different continents before he was even 12 years old. Each one a different challenge for him. Sports at one school, not offered at another. In Africa he was the only American in the school as well as the only english speaker, in an International School. I cried many nights worried that it would hurt him. When we returned to the US and my son went to the first US school he ever attended and he thrived. He found his niche and he just took off. He was able to do that because he felt loved and safe at home, with us and that made all the difference. I have shared some of your families stories and I can see that your children are upright young men and will continue to thrive. I know how hard it can be and I really feel and have felt your pain. On the chess note, do you have a community college in the area? They may be able to help you with at least providing your kids with some instruction. You could also start your own chess thing, there maybe some kids in the same boat, just looking for someone to play chess with. Anyhow..your doing great mom.

Celeste said...

(((hugs))) Nadine, I'll be keeping you and the boys in my thoughts and prayers. I'm so sorry that this move has had its struggles. But I know that out of those life struggles comes growth and experience. Good things will come out of all this. It'll just take some time.

Amy said...

growing up the longest we were anywhere was 2 years. My oldersister suffered the most, seems like she missed out on everything because we were moving all the time. I think it has helped all of us (my brothers and sisters) because now that we are older and things change we are able to adapt quicker and it doesn't bother us as much.

Look on a bright side too, at least Kevin isn't going anywhere for a long time so he'll be there with you all!

MyArmyLife said...

My heart is aching for you just reading this post. It is such a tough line between what is 'best' and what we 'must' do. I have often wondered the same things. Even staying in the same place (five years and counting ...), my boys have broken hearts from those who have left. Three sets of best friends have been made then moved away. You can talk about strength and resilience and independence all you want, but sometimes (I agree with you) it just stinks. And sometimes (I'm with you on this, too!) it's okay to just say that!

Jenny said...

I know what you mean! And sometimes ask myself the same questions.