HEELYS and Us

Now, I'm not normally a victim to fads, I pride myself on kind of just being me and not following the crowds. Sometimes that's hard when your kids want something that is all the new rage! My kids all wanted HEELYS. They are the cool shoe with the wheel in the shoe. We had purchased some for Neil this past Christmas as that was the only thing on his Christmas list. Grandma A. came to visit and said she'd buy the kids school shoes. They all chose these wonderous inventions. Neil is an old pro with these shoes. Daniel and Michael have some learning to do. Well they looked to be having so much fun, Mom and Dad had to try them out too. I don't like admitting that my children are growing and it's a sad fact that two of my three boys now wear shoes bigger then me but it's ok, it also has it's advantages...one being that I fit into their HEELYS, lol. Kevin didn't really fit into Michael's but he shoved his foot in so he could at least share the experience. Putting them on, I thought, this can't be so hard, right? Wrong, lol..they are so not like my cool Smurf rollerskates from my childhood. I was so afraid of busting my rear that I kept Kevin close at hand. Here are some pics of our HEELYS adventure, lol.

First Day of School

I miss my kids. I know there are a lot of parents out there who count down the days to when they send their kids back to school. I am not one of those parents. I love hanging out with my kids. Of course I have my moments like many other parents who need a break but I really do miss my kids when they are not around.

Today Michael started 6th grade, middle school. Even now I wonder what he's doing, is he feeling ok? Is he overwhelmed. I want to go to the school and check on him. I won't but I miss him. I know he is probably having a blast and not even thinking about me. I know part of my discomfort is that he isn't as close as he used to be. It will require a little more driving time and other effort to get to him if I need to. Yes people, I know I sound a little crazy but this is my kid!!!

Neil and Daniel were excited for school too, they woke up with no problems and were dressed and sitting with their backpacks 40 minutes before we had to leave, lol. I only hope they continue to be this excited each day but I know there will come the morning where I struggle to get them up.

Kevin and I walked Michael to the bus stop and we did hang back a bit when we saw that there were no other parents there. Man, the kids there seemed so big. He was excited and we let him go. I watched the bus drive away and my heart was sad but I know he'll be ok.

Dropping off the other two boys was chaos. I swear a lot of people must have drank their cup of stupid this morning because the insanity was just unreal. And there really was no reason for it. People who don't know how to park so there was wasted space where I could have pulled in. People who cross the roads wherever even though there are pedestrian crosswalks 10 feet up. Then they look at me like I'm the one that's wrong. Oh and let's not forget the idiots who go out the entrance only lane, that one annoys me too. I almost took a lady's door off because as I was driving through the parking lot, she swung her door open without even looking (for a split second I was tempted to just hit the door and her too for being so dumb).

Anyway, it's the first day of school and I miss my babies...is it time to pick them up yet?

Michael walking to the bus stop

Michael getting on the bus..he's the 3rd kid...

A Father and his sons

Last weekend we went to a free screening of We Are Marshall that was held at the ampitheater here in Killeen at the Community Center. We got there nice and early for good seating, so we had a lot of time to kill before it got dark enough for them to play it on the big screen. During that time Kevin and the boys just played and played. It overwhelmed my heart to see Kevin wrestling in the grass with the boys. Kevin has been gone more then he's been home during their lives so I try hard not to take these moments for granted. It makes me sad to see other fathers acting bothered when their kids try to play with them. I'm not judging, just an observation, I certainly don't know what is going on in their lives. I'm simply grateful that no matter what my husband takes the time to not only tell my boys how much he cares for them but also shows them. Many people kept taking pics of my husband and the boys (ok that kinda bothered me, lol) but we also got a lot of compliments about what a beautiful family we have. I simply thanked them and said...yes I truly am blessed.

Maximizing my potential

I've been "writing" this blog in my head for a couple weeks now. We'll see if it can end up on the screen as well as it sounded in my head. Over the past month or so people have said things to me that have been almost offensive. I know that none of them who spoke these words meant them with malicious intent but it got me to thinking about things.

I am a Stay-at-Home Mom (SAHM). I am proud of that title although it can give people the wrong impression of who I am. Most "SAHMs" rarely sit "at home" all day, at least I don't. But recently people have been questioning me about what I am going to do with myself now that my kids are all in school full-time. Some have said to me "oh you're not maximizing your full potential". My potential as what? Am I not still a worthwhile human being if I'm not catering to each of my child's needs for 24 hours a day. Just because my kids are not home for 6 hours a day, now I need to rush out and be and do for someone else?

This really bothered me. I CHOOSE to stay at home with my children. I CHOOSE to be here when they get home from school. I like my life. So why is it that so many people think that women who stay at home are not maximizing their potentional? Ironically enough, a few weeks ago I was asked to give a talk at my church about something along these lines. It was based on a talk out of our Church magazine and it talked about families and it mentioned that little girls are now talking about these wonderful careers they want to have when they grow up, it's almost like they are forced to have these big dreams because if they state that they want to be a wife and a mother then they are told they are not maximizing their potential. It was the same week after I gave that talk that different people said the same thing to me.

Now let me say that I used to be one of those little girls. For as long as I can remember all I ever wanted to be was a Soldier. It's what I became the summer before my senior year in high school. I loved putting on that uniform and everything it stood for. Soon I became a wife and a mother. At one point I was a Soldier, Wife, Mother and College Student. Was that maximizing my potential? Was I more of a person then because I had on 4 different hats?

Calling home to the states and talking to my 3 year old son on the phone while stationed in Korea, he begged me to run across the ocean and go home to him. At that moment, I realized it was time to hang up one of those hats...it was time to go be a mother to my kids. It was a hard transition, I will admit that I was a TERRIBLE mother. I had never spent more then 24 hours alone with my own children, I had no clue where to start. Six months after getting out of the Army, my 4 year old son told me to go back in because I was a better Soldier then I was a mom. Boy did those words hurt, even now reflecting back on that day, tears still fill my eyes. But he was right, I was a bad mom. I decided then that I was going to be a better mom. Now, I'm not going to win any mother of the year awards but I will say this...there has been no better "job" then being a mom.

I missed out on the milestones of both of my older boys because of the Army. I made that choice and I have no regrets. However, I will not miss out on anymore. I have made the choice to be a mother to my kids. I want to maximize my potential as their mommy. I want to be the one who kisses their hurt feelings away. I want to be the one who hears the jokes that make no sense. I want to pick up my 6 year old from school and smile at him and hear about the amazing things he learned at school. I want to be the overemotional mom who stands on the corner as her son gets on that Middle School bus and heads off on a new journey. I want to be the mom who lays in a hospital bed with her 9 year old son playing Nintendo for hours on end without worry of getting fired from a job or having to ask permission to attend to my family.

I know there are many women out there who work outside the home and that is great. For me, I am a SAHM, it's a title I wear with pride. For those who say that I'm "just" a SAHM, well I ask you to trade with me for one day...wake up 3 boys from sleep...cuddle with each one and feel the warmth on their cheeks and admire their sleepy smiles. Fix a breakfast but make sure you cut the banana just like he likes it and like only mom can. Don't forget to make the yummy special juice that only mom can make taste "oh so delicious". Go grocery shopping and referee the argument over who can push the cart or who can put the grapes in the bag. Make dinner with three boys underfoot arguing about helping or who's turn it is to set the table. Watch movies and listen to their nonstop giggles over the silliness of the characters on their fave show...the show I know the name of and the characters and the theme song to. Start the fight over bedtime and giggle as you hear them cross the hallway knowing they are not where they are supposed to be even though they insist they are and hear their not so quiet whispers of "how does she know we aren't in bed.". Trade me for a day...no, don't...I don't want to miss a day of those small blessings.

No everyday is not bliss, there is anger, impatience, tears and frustration but more so there is love, laughter and memories you can't erase.

I may not be maximizing my potentional in the eyes of the world...but I am maximizing my potentional in the eyes of my children and THAT my friends...is what truly matters!

My Children who will never truly be lost with Mommy by their side!