Wednesday, March 09, 2011
I can't believe it's been 15 years. Where does the time go? I married my love 15 years ago. I was 19, he was 24. We had no idea what life had in store but we were prepared to travel the journey together. It hasn't been the easiest of journeys and our marriage is far from perfect, but we have endured. Our entire marriage has been a Military marriage.
I have the privilege of interacting with many Military Families on a daily basis. Many are concerned with how their marriage will survive the constant stress and separation. I wish I had the perfect answer but honestly I don't. I just know what we have done and it hasn't always worked. For the most part we have good communication but we falter often and forget the skills we have. We argue, we say mean things but we always forgive. Sometimes the apologies take time to be said but it eventually happens.
We try to focus on the good and we try to keep things in perspective. We don't linger on the bad times and we often remind each other of what we have overcome. We remind each other about the success we have had and encourage one another in everything we do.
One thing that I believe has helped us the most in our marriage is the agreement we made when we first got married. We promised each other that we would not bad mouth one another in front of other people. Now, that's not to say that we have never snapped at each other in front of other people, we are human after all. But we don't talk negatively about each other in front of friends, co-workers, peers, ect. I truly believe it has helped us respect one another. It doesn't mean we are never frustrated with one another or that we think the other is perfect, but our business is our business and I love that.
I don't know what the future has in store for us but I am grateful for what the past has given us. I wouldn't change a thing, I wouldn't stop a tear, hold back a smile, I treasure every laugh and acknowledge every challenge. That journey has brought us here and I'm happy where I am.
I am reminded of two things people have told me that I treasure always in relation to my marriage.
One guy we know told us "You guys make me want to be married."
A friend who also worked in Kevin's unit told me "I hope when I get married that my husband speaks about me, the way Kevin speaks about you." (I still get choked up remembering that conversation.)
Kevin, I love you, I look forward to an eternity with you.