Thankfully there's not a rush and Kevin is so supportive of all I do but it's hard as we begin to really think about transitioning out of the Army. I'm just grateful to be able to be here for my kids the way I want to be. To be able to enjoy Michael's last year home. I know when he graduated, it will be a new chapter for our family. Nothing will ever be the same and that just puts an ache in my heart. I know this is how life is supposed to happen, I'm just not ready. I have really tried so hard to give him the freedom he needs before he heads out on his own but I so badly want to hold on tight and not let go. I already miss him and he's not even gone. I love my boys so much, they have been one of the biggest blessings in my life. I can't imagine not interacting with them on a daily basis. Oh, I make myself cry constantly over thinking this aspect of life.
I know I shouldn't stress about such trivial things. I am a pretty lucky girl. I am married to an amazing man who loves me for me, even when I'm being cranky or crazy. I have three awesome boys who respect me and treat me well as a mother. They put up with my incessant need to love on them and give me hugs when I need them, especially Neil who despises hugs! Even when I feel a little lost as to where I'm headed, they keep me grounded and remind me of what is truly important.
1 comment:
Hey Lady,
I decided to visit my old blog, thinking about writing again as I again find myself in a strange place. Michael is getting ready to graduate college, and commission. I can’t believe where the time has gone...when I started this journey I was where you are now, facing my Michael graduating and leaving home. I know how absolutely hard that is. And you are right when you say, everything will be different. I cannot really express the difference, but my whole life is changed without this person needing me on a daily basis.....
I talk to my husband about it often, and he says we did good, this is a result of that. Our son is thriving and living his life and doing what he should be......
maybe it’s wrong of me to think of what that cost me, but it is the natural order of things, so I need to be grateful that he is in this phase of his life and I am in my own new phase. Hang in there lady, and I am here if you ever need a shoulder....
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