Saturday, April 06, 2013

Peaceful Contemplation

Life is Beautiful (picture taken by my sweet friend Kristi and edited by me)
Yesterday morning I woke up and felt angry.  We had received some news on Thursday evening that kind of shifted our focus for a bit.  It's the kind of news that sort of affects us but not really.  I know that doesn't make a lot of sense but it isn't our news and in the big scheme of things we are okay and will be okay.

As I have mentioned before, I am a deep processor, I like to really analyze things.  When I woke up yesterday morning feeling out of sorts emotionally, I started breaking things down.  I normally do not enjoy the beginning of this process because it makes me really sensitive emotionally and usually sparks tears and some heartache.  Now, neither of those things are a bad thing.  A lot of times, the emotions sparked are great reminders to me of how truly blessed I am.  On the opposite end, it also allows me to see things with much more clarity and forces me to make decisions that I may have pushed to the side.

As I was contemplating my life and the many things in it, I realize I have outgrown some people in my life.  I realize that I have a lot of toxic relationships in my life.  Some of those I have held onto simply because it seemed safe and others because I don't want to deal with the drama that might come if I sever ties.  It's an interesting place to be. 

I have a very close and sweet friend who I am constantly advising to cut ties with people who bring nothing to her life.  I always tell her to ask herself if she would be friends with these people outside a certain demographic they share.  What I realized yesterday is that I really need to take my own advice.  I also got some good stuff from watching The Real Housewives of Orange County (hey, don't judge me, HA!) when crazy Alexis told her husband that you can still be friends with someone even if you don't get along with all of their friends.  That is so true.

This past week I also had an interesting encounter with somebody.  They told me straight to my face that they did not like me.  I'm guessing she was expecting some type of dramatic reaction but since I don't really care for her either and had decided long ago that she was a non-factor in my life, I just didn't care.  It led to a very interesting conversation between her and I, the end result being that none of her opinions really matter to me.  She is the type of person who is very toxic and brings people down, she takes it wherever she goes and who needs that in their life? I hope she feels better about confronting me and that she can move forward now.  The encounter did nothing for me.

Last, I have an amazing family!  I KNOW I am truly blessed with good kids and a loving husband.  Kevin and I work hard to instill good morals and values into the boys.  We talk a lot with the boys about life.  We are not friends with our kids and we have high expectations.  We are disappointed often, that's the process of parenthood.  We try to take each obstacle and use it as a teaching point with them.  We get complimented often on our boys and their behavior.  That is NOT an accident, that is a lifetime of hard work and effort!

Why do I bring this last part up?  I had someone tell me recently that they are sick of my "perfect" life and overly positive FB statuses where all I talk about is all the good things my boys do.  They told me that my kids weren't perfect and I should post that part too.  I chuckled at that.  First, I'm turned off by people who constantly berate their children in FB statuses.  Second, I don't see the point of spreading negativity.  That might work for others, but it's not me.  My children make plenty of mistakes, but public humiliation isn't the route we choose to take, instead we offer love, understanding and face to face interaction.  I vent to close friends who love my kids just as much as we do.  There are many different ways to parent...this is our way.

Last night, as I went to bed, I reflected back on my day and the thoughts that I processed.  Overall, what I decided is that I'm really blessed and I'm right where the Lord wants me to be, doing what He wants me to do.  I feel at peace with my life.


Dorshan Millhouse said...

At least she came direct to you. Although the encounter did nothing for you... it was respectable that she felt she had to tell you directly. Most people don't.

I think that the conference talks today really hit these points you made today. I loved when he talked about our kids and forgiveness as they make mistakes. When you focus on the positive, it allows faith, trust and confidence to grow. We all have enough insecurity and personal damnation we work through. Keep on the sunny side and those dark things will begin to brighten and bring about good things. Thanks for sharing your experiences.

Jen said...

I'm so glad that you feel at peace with your life. :)

Mrs. Cinnamon said...

Jacob and I LOVED your FB post yesterday about scouting!! I told him that I must not be the only mom who helps their scouts stay organized!! After seeing me when Jacob was a Cub, you can honestly say that I'VE probably come further than he has!!! LOL Thanks for your post.

Emily said...

I think you have an awesome point about spreading negativity! We can still be real without having to bash or be negative. I really love that about you! You have been such a great example of loving and adoring your kids, of course every family has challenges but I love that you always focus on the good things.