Tuesday, December 04, 2012

TDT #16 - Separation Perspective

One of the ways I have always done my countdowns when my  husband is away is by counting trash days.  Most of the time it isn't as daunting a number as the estimated number of days he'll be gone.  And it helps me remember to put the trash out, or rather encourage my boys to put the trash out since it's their job.  So this will be my new weekly post, and I'll just really post whatever, no real set theme.  Please feel free to join me on this adventure of counting down the time until your loved one comes home!
4 months down, 8 to go!  Time does seem to be going fairly quickly.  We thought it might considering how busy we stay with the boys.  I think I've done pretty well keeping it together and trying to keep things in perspective.  I'm not going to lie, I have had my moments.  What is interesting is most of those moments come at the hands of people reaching out to me.  I know they mean well and I appreciate their love and support but it makes me vulnerable and I don't always know how to deal with that.  This past Sunday one of the new  members of our ward stopped me just to see how I was doing.  It caught me off guard and seriously made me want to cry right then and there.  Thankfully I kept my emotions in check but it's a little crazy.

I try really hard not to make a big deal out of this separation (outside my blog that is...it seems to be all I talk about here).  I know so many families who are enduring separation due to combat deployments and don't feel that this even compares.  I also know that there are many people who are separated for the rest of their time here on earth and so it reminds me that this separation is but a short time in the big scheme of things.

I'm not going to say I do well at it all the time.  I certainly have my moments when I want to break down.  It's hard going and doing things with the boys and feeling the void.  It's also hard to watch the boys wrestle and know they are missing their dad.  I can't tell you how wonderful everyone has been to us in the high school and club programs.  So many people reaching out to the boys.  It is very overwhelming to me.  At times I can hardly breathe because I'm holding back the tears.

I can honestly say that I have never felt such support in my life and it is what makes things so much easier.  It helps me keep things in perspective by sending me these little reminders that my Heavenly Father has not forgotten me and that He is aware of the times I need a little extra TLC, as does my boys and my husband.  Kevin received the sweetest message from one of the families in our ward on Sunday.  I am tearing up just thinking about it.  Another sweet reminder that He is in control and aware of our spiritual and temporal needs.

Today I attended the funeral of an amazing man our family was able to meet and connect with at church.  He is a World War II, Korea & Vietnam war veteran.  Oh how I loved to chat with him.  Him and Kevin really connected and Kevin had promised to bring him pictures of what Korea looks like now.  Unfortunately, he was unable to bring them back and show them to him but I know Bishop Rickert is looking down and seeing what has become of the country he only knew in war time.

Sitting there and listening to what was said about his life, especially the parts about him serving in three wars where contact was limited and the casualty rate was high, it reminded me yet again how blessed Kevin and I are. We are apart but we get to speak almost daily.  I know he is safe.  He is sleeping in a warm bed at night and has food and shelter.  

There are aspects of this separation that have been difficult and I am not going to lie, I have shed some tears over it but I also know the blessings that have come because of it.  My goal is to keep things in perspective or the next eight months so I can focus on whatever it is the Lord would have me learn.

I truly am grateful for this separation and the opportunity our family has to learn and grow from the experiences laid before us.

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