Tuesday, October 09, 2012

TDT #9 - It's Okay to Say No...or Yes!

One of the ways I have always done my countdowns when my  husband is away is by counting trash days.  Most of the time it isn't as daunting a number as the estimated number of days he'll be gone.  And it helps me remember to put the trash out, or rather encourage my boys to put the trash out since it's their job.  So this will be my new weekly post, and I'll just really post whatever, no real set theme.  Please feel free to join me on this adventure of counting down the time until your loved one comes home!
One thing I have had problems with is saying yes when I should be saying no and saying no when I should be saying yes!  Confused?  I am a nurturer, I like to help people.  I often find myself in situations where I am already strung out thinly and then someones asks me for something and I say yes and find myself in a crazy situation.  It usually works out, but not without some type of stress.  I have been working on saying NO.  I was proud of myself because this past week I was asked if I could take a meal to a family of 8.  My initial response was of course!  But after really thinking it through, I realized that I just did not have the time to make a meal that big and deliver it at a decent time with the boys schedules.  I really wanted to help and even said I could help on the weekend but I could not do the weekday.  I was proud of myself for recognizing that it was okay to say no.  I had said yes to a different meal request but had to put guidelines on it for myself.  I hate doing that because I do want to serve others but I have to be realistic too. 

Just as much as it has been a learning experience in saying no, I have had to learn to say yes at times too.  A few weeks ago, one of my wonderful friends sent me a text asking if she could bring us dinner.  I initially told her no, that we were okay.  It was a relatively slow day for us so I didn't see the need.  She continued to insist and finally said it in a manner that touched my heart.  "Will you let me bring you a meal?"  I know, it sounds so simple but it really meant so much to me.  I relented and said yes.  She brought us an amazing meal and you know, after what ended up being a crazy day, I was so grateful for her thoughtfulness.

I really feel so blessed during this separation that I can say no when I need to without being judged and say yes when I am need and be surrounded by loving and caring people. 

These lessons are particularly hard for me at first but then I see the blessings after I reflect back on them.

Is it as difficult for you to say yes or no when you need to?


Cmoore09 said...

This is exactly how I have been feeling. I say agree to helping people out even if it puts me in a precarious position, like being late or stressed or conflicted schedules. I have been struggling with agreeing to accept help, also. It's hard being a softie, but so rewarding. :)

John, Heather, Emma, Lily & Jana said...

I struggle with this too...I think often of the Bible verse that everything is beneficial but not everything is permissible.. It's hard to balance a serving heart - I can relate so well to this blog. Good for you for accepting the meal- let someone else feel the joy of serving as you feel it as well as the love of friends who care! You are a rockstar!!!