I think the reality that our family is going to be apart for 365 days is finally setting into my mind and my heart. I still feel strongly that having Kevin go to Korea without us is the right decision. It's not Iraq or Afghanistan, but it still doesn't mean that the distance isn't going to suck. It was easy to get into a pattern of not having it be a big focus like deployment because there are no big ramp ups with FRG meetings or briefings of any type for us as a family. Kevin went to his levy briefing and that's pretty much it. At some point he will schedule transportation to come and pick up the few things he will want with him in Korea, but what he is taking with him won't really change the dynamics of our house much. He leaves in less than 10 weeks and that seems crazy to me.
We are busy right now, he's still working in his unit and I'm busy with all the volunteer things on my plate. We will be busy all of June between different Scout Camps and Girls Camp and then we'll go visit my parents for a couple of weeks. When we return home from my parents it will be almost time for Kevin to go.
The boys and I will be okay, we are pretty independent and we have a crazy schedule for 2012-2013. In fact if I break it down by the activities the boys will be involved in, it doesn't seem so daunting. But then I remember that Kevin will miss all of those experiences with the boys and that makes my heart sad. I really do feel horrible when we are separated. Since I got out of the Army, Kevin is always the one leaving and I feel like I'm sending him out into this big, crazy world alone. I get to have the boys with me to keep me from loneliness and I rarely miss anything in their life.
I am grateful for the technology that will keep us connected. Again, we feel strongly that this is the right direction for our family. We know that the Lord has plans for us and we are willing servants. There is a mission far greater than the Army for Kevin in South Korea and whatever it is does not involve us as a family. What a lot of people don't know is that Kevin was on orders after he completed his time as a Drill Sergeant in late 2004. We were very excited for the orders as we had wanted to go back since we left in 1999. After a few days of processing the next chapter of our lives we both got a strong feeling that Korea was not where we were supposed to go. We were inspired to get our orders changed and have Kevin go to a duty station that would send him to war. We ended up at Fort Hood and Kevin did go to war...twice. Those deployments were difficult but we know we had things to learn during that time. Kevin and I grew stronger as individuals, as a couple and overall a family. We would not change those times because they have brought us to this place in our life where we are the best that we can be.
When we found out Korea was on the horizon again, we were and are at peace with it. I know through personal prayer that whatever mission the Lord has for Kevin in 2004 is the same mission He has for him now. The time is now and who are we to question Him? I know we will find some difficulty in the year apart. I know that I will falter in strength at times and I know there will be moments of frustration on both of our parts, we are human. But I know that He is in control and I have faith in that. I find comfort in my favorite scripture "Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest." Joshua 1:9.
From where we currently live to where Kevin will be stationed is about 6800 miles apart, while the distance will be great in the physical sense, I know that we will only grow closer and stronger in the spiritual sense.
I want to end this entry with a video I made during Kevin's last deployment to Iraq. It is a reminder to me that we have an obligation to make a difference and I know that we will carry that message forward during this time apart.