Tuesday, March 02, 2010

Red Button

My red button has been pushed a lot lately. I have tried hard to be in control of the red button. Last Friday though...I must have had a stamp on my forehead that said "PLEASE PRESS MY RED BUTTON". What is my red button? Tone of voice...the way that people speak to me and if they switch to a tone of disrespect is my red button. I have really worked on controlling my own emotions even when others don't.

Last Friday I woke up and was looking forward to my day. We were having two other couples over for dinner and I was really looking forward to it. So I got up, got the kids out the door and headed on my way. I hit up Walmart and my cashier was so rude. I went to the lane that had no one in it, it happened to be the tobacco lane. The cashier asked me if I was going to buy any cigarettes, I replied that I was not. She asked me if I knew this was the lane to buy tobacco products. Well sure I knew that but it doesn't mean you HAVE to buy tobacco. She seemed put off, almost made you think she got commission or something. I shook that off and went about my way. I hit the PX next to get some magazines for a friend of mine. As I was checking out the cashier was even more rude than the girl at Walmart. Right from the start her tone was just disrespectful. Everything she said to me had major attitude. Initially I just blew it off, giving her the benefit of the doubt, maybe she was having a bad day, we all have them, right? As she continued, I even did a self-check...was I in a bad mood, perhaps I was radiating attitude of some type..but no...I was still happy and feeling pretty good. So finally, I looked at her and said..."you know, I don't really appreciate your tone." She responded with, "oh you think I have attitude?" I replied with a big "uhm yeah". She continued with rudeness in her voice apologizing sarcastically. It really annoyed me to the point that I told her very firmly to just quit talking to me because the more she talked the more she was pissing me off. She began to look at the Soldiers behind me like I was the crazy one. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore and I said loudly to her, let me make sure I know how to spell your name correctly! Immediately I hated that I had allowed her to slam my red button!

I never understand people's need to be rude or why they have to take their bad mood out on the world..especially when they work in the customer service spectrum. I mean really, if you hate life, you shouldn't be dealing with people.

I am a magnet for bad customer service. Whether it's in person or over the phone. I admit I have rather high expectations. I try hard to teach my kids about kindness and charity.

This past Sunday at church we had a great lesson on something along these lines. And I realized that I put expectations on others without their permission. Sometimes I think it's a common sense thing or rather we fall back on the Golden Rule.

I have decided to work even HARDER on my red button issue and try the "kill them with kindness" approach. That could prove difficult as I think some people just enjoy being miserable. Yesterday I saw the same cashier at the PX, however, I avoided her lane and when she saw me, she began whispering to her co-worker loudly enough for me to hear her say I was a ....

I smiled and shook my head...disappointed I had let someone like that have control over me.

Do you have a red button? What does it take for someone to set it off?


The Partridge Family said...

Did you file a complaint against her? I would have....but my red button is feeling like i have been ripped off, and then people getting angry when i try to show them the discrepency. Dane has never been able to understand why i care about taht extra dollar we were charged by mistake. I dont know why, but i have always cared. I will go to the mat over my dollar because most of the time its more than just a dollar.

But the worst part of my button is when someone is rude to me like i am somehow complicating their life so much because i want to pay what the pricetag says not more.

I need to get control of mine too because Dane says i am really embarassing when it comes to that.

Aubri said...

Oohhh good post. You are right everyone has a red button. Mine is when people are rude to OTHER people in my presence. I am usually somehow able to shrug off the idiots who give me attitude. But I can't stand seeing other people disrespected. That's when my ugly comes out. I'm sure I take a lot of people by surprise, because the transformation from sweet to scary happens rather quickly, lol!

Dana said...

I have a very large, very trigger happy red button. I used to be very easily upset but I've learned to "cover up my red button" so it's harder to push.

I still get really irritated when people place expectations on me or fail to ask me to do something for them. And when I feel like i've been ripped off!

As for rude cashiers, I can usually ignore them and let it slide. If need be, I will pointedly ignore them. Life is too short for me to allow a complete stranger the ability to annoy me. If they can't be civil, I let it slide and ignore them. If it's a customer service person that I must deal with, I will sweetly ask for a manager. But even when I'm irritated, I try my best to let it go as quickly as possible. They may push my red button, but I won't let them keep pushing it!

Amy said...

I think my red button is the size of texas! I can get so irritated so fast, but I usually just hold it all in and never say anything. Any sort of confrontational experience and I just cry. Even if I know I'm right. Its terrible, so that's why I don't ever respond to anything, lol.

HellcatBetty said...

Well you're a better person than I am. Although I'm generally pretty passive aggressive in those situations... I just glare at them and then curse at them under my breath as I walk to my car.