Recently I've come across some statements that are just plain ignorant. Today I was asked by a future Army wife about how much sacrifice she would have to make. She didn't want to be like all the other Army wives who are 100% dependent on their husband and who stay at home all day doing nothing. I had to laugh at how naive she was. First off, how many Army wives does she know? (The answer is zero.) Second, she would be surprised to know how diverse and accomplished Army wives can be.
Let me stop right there...I'm not going to limit this to Army wives, let me go and include all my fellow wives in the Military Sisterhood. Military wives are diverse and accomplished. And not only that but dependent? If that were true, how could the majority of my closest Military wive friends, both in the "real" world and my "online" world survive the many separations we have had to endure throughout our tenure as Military wives?
It's obvious that this girl is just plain ignorant. And there are many people out in the big bad world who think like this. And really it is just ignorant...they just don't know. I responded to the girl not to be so judgmental (she claimed she wasn't but let's be real...she was) and that many Military wives choose to stay home and care for their families so as to bring some sort of balance to their families since their husbands are gone so much. At least that is the case for me. We all have our reasons and we certainly do not have to justify our reasons, I'm just throwing mine out there.
As I thought about this throughout the rest of the afternoon and evening, I started to think about many of my fellow sisters who love a man in Military uniform and all of their accomplishments. Just to give you a small example of the diversity and experience that fill the ranks of Military Wifehood (and these are just people I know!)
*Many of my friends have Masters Degrees, one is part of a dog rescue team. Another has a psychology degree another psychiatry degree. I know many who are nurses, at all different levels. One is a family therapist. Many have teaching degrees, others are musicians. Many have served as PTA presidents, Cubmasters, Scoutmasters, committee chairs, Sunday School teachers, FRG leaders, community leaders and many other positions all while taking care of their own families and oh did I mention most of these positions were held while their men in uniform were serving in a combat zone over 7000 miles away for 12-15 months?
Not only that, they serve on teams that are unique to the military where they volunteer to take care of the families of those who are killed or wounded. They go and visit some of the toughest units in hospitals, amputee clinics and burn clinics, all while praying that their own men return home.
And for those who's men don't come home or come home different and suffering from visible and invisible wounds, they carry themselves with grace that is remarkable and continue to serve as only Military wives can, working hard to carry the legacy of our fallen and our wounded.
So for those out there who live in ignorance, don't judge a Military wife with what you "think" you know about our lifestyle, especially if you haven't made the step yet. If at some point, we choose to stay at home and not do anything, we certainly have earned that right.
I am proud to be an Army wife. It's not easy but the journey is worth it.