Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Six Weeks Down...

My Donut of Misery says we are 9% done and we have a "long, long way to go". I think we've hit that transition phase, the numbness is wearing off and we might be settling into a routine of sorts. Maybe...probably not. You think you are good not hearing from your Soldier and then you get spoiled by receiving a call two days in a row or an email two days in a row. And then...nothing. You know better and know that's how it rolls but you still find yourself upset about it. And for me, I then get upset about being upset because in my mind "I know better".
Perhaps the fact that no matter what, I wake up at 0545 every single day doesn't help. Maybe the lack of sleep is wearing on me and making me feel vulnerable and emotional. It may be contributing to my scattered brain as well. I am usually pretty on top of things and lately I forget things. I don't want to blame it on the deployment though many kind people have offered it to me as an out. I think that is phasing itself out as well. Perhaps "normal" will appear soon!!
Oh and I'm very proud of myself, I went and walked this morning. It was slow moving at first, the setting was just right to kind of wander and reflect and then I realized that people were kind of staring at me, lol. I was kind of walking at a slow pace while thinking and I'm sure they wondered why I was on the track if I wasn't actually going to try and get my heart rate up, LOL. Just for good measure I jogged the last mile.
So six weeks down and way too many to mention at this point to go!!!

1 comment:

J.R. and Michelle said...

I know that has to be so hard waiting for some sort of contact from Kevin. It sounds like you are surviving well, even if you are "just hanging on by your fingernails" , as my Grandpa would always say.