Tuesday, September 11, 2007

I'm Angry

I am angry. I am livid, angry, pissed, however you want to put it. I just got done sitting at our dining room table explaining to my three boys who are 11, 9 and 6 what 9-11 is all about. My kids are almost too young to really remember that day, heck my youngest was barely weeks old when it happened. At school they had a ceremony to commemorate 9-11. Guess what, my kids had no clue what it's about. They wanted to know why. This is not a simple explanation. I am angry that I have to explain to my kids what terrorists are. I am angry that my kids want to know who Osama Bin Ladin, Sadaam Hussein and what Al Queda are. I am angry that I had to explain what hijacking, terrorist cells, suicide bombers and IEDs are.
I am angry that my sensitive 11 year old shed tears about the people killed. Not just the many who died in the Twin Towers, the Pentagon and the field in DC but the troops who have died since then serving in Iraq and Afghanistan. I am angry that they now see the bigger picture. I could have just given them a simple explanation...if one existed. I cannot lie to my kids. They are not pacified with a oh people died or it was a tragedy in NYC. I am angry that to our family 9-11 isn't something that happened away from us that we can "never forget" the other 364 days of the year. My kids see their daddy training, they know he goes to Iraq. They know it's dangerous, I'm angry that I have to explain why. I am angry that I cannot promise that daddy will be safe when he goes back next year. I'm angry that I had to explain all this to them by myself without my husband home because he is in the field preparing for deployment train-up.

I am angry.

I just had to vent and I don't expect people to share my thoughts or feelings but I am angry that my kids innocence was stripped and I want to sit and bawl about it but I can't because I need to be their strength and rock.

2 comments:

Becca said...

I won't pretend to know what you are going through and really I don't have any words to make it better, just wanted to post and let you know that I care. HUGE HUGS for you!

Amanda Panda said...

Hugs from me too. My girls are still too young for that talk. But it makes me sad to think of any childs innocence being stripped away. It is sad. And I don't blame you for being angry one bit.