Wednesday, July 18, 2007


I have spent a lot of time recently contemplating relationships/friendships I've had. I don't really know why but when I think about them, my mind often wanders back to something I received in my email months ago. I remember when I first read it, I felt it had such truth to it and even went as far as to put different "friendships" into the three different categories. Lately I find myself thinking again about this little write-up...

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.!
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

So now I think back to the last 18 months or so and I see all the "friendships" I have developed, nurtured, walked away from or found myself missing. I'll admit that for some of those relationships I expressed great emotion, sometimes anger, sometimes hurt...a lot of times simple confusion. There are some friendships that seemed really strong and then the next day there were non-existent and I was left trying to figure out what the hell happened. Something that I have come to realize over the past few days is that if I really read the words of the statement above, those "friendships" served their purpose. Instead of being angry or hurt, I need to reflect and just ponder for a few minutes what good came out of them. If they were meant to only be for a Season, I should look at the memories that were created and keep them locked inside to take out when I need a smile. If they were meant for a Reason, I should do the same and try to figure out the reason and feel good if I helped in a situation. Unless I did something horrible to cause that friendship to fail, then I should realize that in God's big plan, these "friendships" were created for a purpose and if they've ended then I should acknowledge that I've done what I needed to and move on.

The last category is Lifetime. Now those who know me well know that I do not use the term "friend" loosely. It takes a lot for me to put you in that category. This is where my Lifetime buddies fall in, they are in my friend status. I always thought this category consisted of a fairly small number but as I've pondered all this the past few days, I realize that it's a slightly larger number than I originally thought. There are people who I may not talk to everyday but when I think of them, I feel my love for them in my heart. I can't erase that. I'd still do anything for them if they asked. That's what lifetime friends do. And lifetime doesn't have to be literal, I know there are friendships I've developed in the past couple years that will last the rest of my lifetime. It's not always about the past but also about the future.

So what's the point to all this rambling? Basically this...I'm not going to beat myself up over "lost" friendships, I'm going to look at them, remember the happy times, smile and know that there is a reason for everything.

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