Just.Be.Kind

Let me preface this post by stating that this is absolutely something I also need to work on.  I am definitely a work in process in so many ways and this is just one of my many “under construction” areas.

This is something I have really been thinking about most of this summer.  I have been really fortunate to witness some powerful moments of kindness but I have also been able to watch, uncomfortably, moments of exclusion and downright meanness.  Both areas invoked much emotion from me.  I used to think I wasn’t that emotional of a person, but the reality is…I am, sometimes too much!

One of the cool things I get to do through my service as an AmeriCorps VISTA is coordinating a leadership camp for middle school and high school students in our local school district.  In our curriculum, we do an anti-bullying lesson.  If I am being honest, I have not been happy with our lesson the past couple of years and really wanted to create something that would leave a long-lasting impression and hopefully spark a desire to truly be an ambassador to just be kind.

I have a dear friend whose family has started a rock campaign in honor of her nephew who took his own life last year as a result of being bullied.  They are located in North Carolina but their story really resonated with me and I wanted to somehow pull their mission into my lesson on bullying.  I reached out to her and asked if she was open to starting a kindness rock garden at our school, hoping to expand that across our district (I am still working on that).   She jumped at the opportunity and came in, shared her story and our high school kids started our kindness rock garden.  This activity was powerful!  I mean people were crying, sharing their stories and in the moment, were motivated to create change.  I can only hope that the students and adults who were a part of that, will be able to carry that through.

After that amazing experience, I made a personal decision to work hard to be a better person.  I wanted to be kinder.  I don’t necessarily struggle to be kind, but I do know that I am often not as nice as I need to be when I’ve become frustrated with people.  I don’t go out of my way to be unkind, but I also don’t go out of my way to be nice.

So, what is the point of this rambling?  I can be very forgiving when kids are kind because I believe they are still very much in the development phases of their life.  They mimic behaviors, they exhibit values and beliefs from their home lives and sometimes they are just unaware of their words and actions because no one has taught them or they have not really grasped the concepts that are being taught.  I, however, struggle when it comes to adults who are mean because I believe they should know better.

One of the most disappointing acts I witnessed this summer was a group of young adults purposely excluding a peer.  It broke my heart and fired me up at the same time.  I went throughout the day replaying it in my head, trying to make sense of it and even thinking that perhaps what I saw was not actually what happened.  After discussing it with a few different people, it was confirmed that it actually did happen and that just made me sad.  I try so hard to be an advocate for our youth because I think sometimes they get a bad rap and I have seen so much good from teens and young adults, I just didn’t get to witness it that day and the fact that it was intentional was so hard for me.

So, after that moment, again, I made a personal decision to strive to be better.  The reality, folks, is that we are definitely not going to click with every person we meet, work with, serve with, interact with.  That being said, we can still be kind!  I have an intense personality that I have worked on mellowing out over the past decade.  I mean, I have worked hard to be intentional in my thoughts and actions.  I falter, daily.  Just yesterday, I spoke before thinking and said something to a peer harshly.  Immediately, I felt remorse and apologized the first chance I got.  It didn't take away any hurt I may have caused, but I hope they recognized that I knew I was wrong and that I tried to fix it.

So, in closing to this long rambling thought is that we all just need to work on being kind.  Not to get something in return but just because it’s the right thing to do and it’s really not that hard.  It’s something I am trying to work on and it’s something we all probably need to put a little more effort in.  Just be kind!

“Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.” ~Og Mandino