Monday, August 08, 2016

Transition....New Chapters....Denial

It has been a while since I have written here.  Not because I don't have anything to say...far from it.  In my dashboard are multiple drafts of our life events that never get published...I don't even have a good reason why.

But here we are...August 2016.  Michael returned home from his mission just a couple months ago.  Neil graduated a few weeks before that.

Now in a few days they will start heading off to college.  These two boys.  I am not ready.  Let me write that again, I am not ready.

I am excited for them but my mama heart breaks as I think about them being away from me.  Sleeping under a different roof.  Why did time have to go so fast?  Kevin and I have raised them the best way we knew how.  They are great young men.  They have, this far in life, made good decisions.  I know this is how life goes but I just am not ready.

It won't matter if I'm ready, they are embarking on this new journey.  I thought it would be easier having them head off to college considering I have already sent one boy off for two years.  But having Michael come home and fall back perfectly into the fold of our family has gotten me too comfortable.

Why is this so hard?  Why is it making me cry and have that deep ache in my chest to see my boys start the next phase of their lives?

As I laid sobbing in bed, enfolded in Kevin's arms last week, he reminded me that Heavenly Father knows how I feel.  After all, He has sent His children away to learn and to grow.   That thought does bring me comfort and also strengthens me.

Remember friends, time goes by so fast.  One minute they are tiny babies and the next they are grown men.  Cherish the moments.

1 comment:

Melissa said...

I love this post! I can totally relate. It's hard to be so proud of them and yet so devastated at the same time. Thanks for sharing. :)