Saturday, April 17, 2010

Unapologetic

This blog entry had been writing itself in my head for a while now. I've always pushed it away and said nope..not going to write it but obviously the blog has won.

Everyone has heard the old adage "Misery loves company", right? Well that seems to be the case sometimes with Military Spouses. One can't be happy if someone else's Soldier, Marine, Sailor, etc. is home. If you post that you are happy about your love being home to do this or that, it is almost immediately responded to with an "at least he's home" or a "must be nice" or a "sure wish mine was...".

I acknowledge that of course we all wish these things when our love is away from home. But really, is it necessary to rain on someone else's parade?

Now, before I go on, I know there was a time when I belonged to an online forum where a thread was started and the title was sometime like "What Our Husbands do that Annoy the Heck Out of Us." I should have steered clear of that post but no, I clicked it open and went on to read the gripes of all these women (I was the only Military Wife and Kevin was in Iraq). Things like dirty socks, snoring, cold feet...well you get the picture. I simply responded...I wish that there were dirty socks, snoring, cold feet..etc, because it would mean my husband was home and not in Iraq. So I acknowledge I have had my moments. I felt bad after that (a little bad, not like I lost sleep over it) because I didn't want to be the person that rains on everyone's parade.

Alright, I digress. Anyway...that is still different than what I am talking about. I'm talking about when I share that my husband is out with my kids and how happy I am that he his finally here to do that or that he is home for a Holiday that he hasn't been for over a decade and someone has to come in and say..wish mine was. Why is it so hard to just say...I'm happy for you?

I truly am happy whenever someone's husband is home for whatever it is.

And here is why I am "unapologetic". My husband has been there and done that. And so have my kids and myself. I am not sorry my husband is home to pick up the kids from school or go to their campouts or that he is home for a holiday. I am not sorry he gets to spend a birthday with his son or that he falls asleep on the couch with another one. I am not sorry that he gets a 3 day or 4 day weekend or that he gets home at 3 pm on Thursday.

It sucks that your Soldier, Sailor, Marine, etc, is at a stage of their career where they are gone. Trust me I know how much it sucks because we live that too. This is OUR season for happiness and we are going to enjoy it because like YOU, we know how short lived it may be.

I truly believe in supporting one another in this crazy, unpredictable lifestyle we live. We will be there to cry with, laugh with and celebrate with. It just seems lately, people want us to share in the misery. I'm sick of the one way street of support.

I can't wait for the day where there will be no separation but sadly this lifestyle isn't built for such a fantasy. I always pray that time will speed up for those who are separated for their loved ones and will be slow for those who are in a season of togetherness. I will support my fellow Military Spouses in their journey no matter what season they are in.

But what I will not be is apologetic for the season we are enjoying.

11 comments:

USMCWIFE said...

How petty I wouldn't and don't apologize for my happiness when my husband is home,he earned his right to be home, like you said been there done that and will again and when he gets home again I will be happy he is home and doing things with me and our son. I am never more happy for my military friends when their loved ones are home, I wish they were all home but since that can't be the case be happy for those that our and know your time is coming as well..I am happy your boys have their dad at home for now because as we all know you really never know when they will be pulled away again.

Julie the Army Wife said...

I am worried I might get some flack because my husband is not deploying with his unit. He will go later. Why? Because he got back late last year and he will get to finish his dwell time. I have seen how some wives get towards wives on Rear D and I hope I don't get too much of that.

We should all be happy when a husband IS home because it helps us see that husbands can be home in this lifestyle. That they can be around and can take their children to things. They won't be gone forever.

Jess said...

Love the changes you made here... and so glad your NOT apologetic.. you guys have been thru so much... and you have every right to be happy.... so glad you are!! Hugs!!!

HellcatBetty said...

Amen. I've been really pleased though, that I've gotten nothing but "I'm really happy for you" comments lately when talking about hubby returning home :) But yeah, there's always one or two party poopers. And they suck.

Celeste said...

Wow, I really hope that this is just a general thought and that no one has really said or been that way to you guys. (And really to anyone for that matter) After all you guys have been through you should be able to enjoy every single second of Kevin being home. I'm so glad for you guys and it always makes me smile to hear about all of the quality time you guys have been able to have with each other. I'm glad you guys are making memories because that is what will carry you guys through the times apart. (((hugs)))

Southern Belle said...

Really, really great post!

John, Heather, Emma, Lily & Baby#3 said...

I can really relate to this. Love reading all about what you and your WHOLE family are doing. Live it up Albrects!!

Stinson Family said...

I hope you do get to have your hubby home for all the holidays. And I look forward to seeing your monthly family picture :) You definalty deserve it and your right!

MyArmyLife said...

Great post! Thanks for writing it; a reminder never hurts! When 4ID and 1st CAV were both at Hood, we always had friends leaving when our hubbies were coming home or hubbies leaving when friends were returning (and, as you know, that's really still true with as many units stationed here). It's always bittersweet to me to welcome my husband home, knowing someone else's Soldier had to deploy to replace him ... but you are exactly right! We all have our seasons and having our Soldiers home is the good times. We should celebrate and share ... and be careful to be happy for others when they're able to celebrate, too. Appreciate your post ... and YAY!! I am truly happy for you!

=)

WolfleyFamily said...

Well stated :) I think it's totally acceptable to sympathize with another without being apologetic at having your own spouse home. I am really sad about things that we've seen military wives do to each other. One woman's husband's ship was coming home; she & her kids were picking up supplies to make posters. The cashier's husband's ship (a different one) was delayed in coming so she told the first wife that she hoped it would rain and ruin her husband's (first wife) homecoming! I was mad at such meanness - shouldn't we be supporting each other??? I'm not sorry that my husband is around more often with his current job/unit. He's done more than what I consider his fair share of time in deployments and combat situations. His turn will come around again, but until then, we are going to enjoy the season we are in.

Candace April said...

Great post--I think this may be true across the board but it is especially poignant with military spouses who find themselves in these regular cycles of ups and downs, which they are mostly powerless to control.

Thank you for sharing at the Military Monday Linky on Army Wives' Lies -- I shared on twitter and on the facebook page!