Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Miscellaneous Thoughts

So I'm sitting here, my youngest leaning on my arm. He's "not tired" but his head weighs heavily on me and his breathing is deep. He is needy today, he misses his daddy. There have been many things that happened today that has my mind churning. Different conversations I have had throughout the day in regards to many different things.

There is so much that happens in the world that I don't understand. No matter how hard I try, I don't understand it. I know that there are many things that are not for me to understand but gosh darn if that isn't hard to comprehend on days like today.

We all have trials and the reality is that no one knows what another person is truly carrying in their hearts and in their minds. Many of us wear masks that cover the truth. Why do we do it, who knows? Maybe it's denial, maybe it's protection, maybe we aren't even aware that we are doing it.

I have many flaws, most of the time I'm pretty upfront about them. I can't very well deny them when the One who will judge me is all knowing anyway. So in saying that I'm flawed, I don't understand people who are hurtful for the sake of being hurtful. I do believe in the old saying "misery loves company" but what purpose does that really serve?

My thoughts are pretty bouncy tonight I'm upset for a dear friend of mine and things that she was told today that were said out of spite. I feel partly responsible, maybe completely responsible. I admit to being spiteful today too, I will truly repent and process the events but it will be hard because when someone hurts those you care for deeply, the process is harder to venture through.

So many different events happened today to make me emotionally exhausted. I glance down at my sweet 7 year old and am glad that is one thing that does make sense in this twisted world.

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