The Best Job I Never Wanted

Today I was asked at church to bear my testimony on motherhood.  I readily agreed thinking that it was an easy topic to talk briefly about.  I mean, I'm a mom and I love it!  How hard could it be to stand up and bear witness of that?  As I waited for the time to come when I would go up and talk about what it was like to be a mom, I felt pretty confident in what I was going to say.  I was going to talk about how much I love my boys and  how I love being a stay at home mom and then I would end it.  All the way up to the pulpit I was thinking it would be short and sweet.

As I begin to speak, the words that came out were not what I had in mind!  I shared some very personal things that I have spoken about in Relief Society but not in front of the whole congregation.  I was somewhat surprised at how honest I was about the fact that I never wanted to be a mom or a wife and the reasons why.  I cried as I talked about the fear I had and how I was still unsure of myself at times.

When I got home, I reflected on what I shared and I felt so blessed to be able to stand in front of my ward family and share that I knew that my Heavenly Father loved me because he blessed me with these three amazing spirits to take care of.  I am humbled to know that He trusts me to take care of His children and to do the best I can to get them back to Him.  I feel so grateful that even when my husband is 6800 miles away and 14 hours ahead of me that I know I am not raising these kids alone, that my Heavenly Father is always walking right along side of me.

This motherhood gig is the hardest thing I have ever done and yet the most rewarding.  I honestly smile everyday when I think of my kids.  I love the random conversations we have, the silly looks they give me and I especially love when they call me mama.

My prayer for them is that they know how much I love them and that I will always do whatever I can to be their biggest advocate.

I'm so glad that the Lord knew me better than I thought I knew myself when He sent these sweet spirits down to me.  Motherhood is the best job I never wanted.